[x]200km/hr in the wrong direction[x]

Another Year... G.O.N.E

2009-12-31T23:07:00.002+08:00

*Takes deep breath*

Sigh... another year coming to an end too soon. I'm not ready for it to be over but too bad time won't wait for me. I guess I'm just a "timeless" person. Ouhkay, let's see whether I've accomplished any of my resolutions for 2009.

2009's resolutions:

#1. I NEED TO LOSE AT LEAST 5KG!!! I don't want to turn into a fishball. Cause it's sad that I'm not one of those who looks cute when chubby =(

I did lost 5kg. It's just that I gained it back and more towards the end of the year =X

#2. I need to practice proper time management. Cause it's never enough to just learn about it =(

Tick tock tick tock... No use. I'm still not practicing at all.

#3. I must make myself emotionally strong. Cause people will always accidentally hurt you and I'm too old to bawl and whine =(

I'm there! I'm there! I've learned reverse psychology yer! Try to fuck with me and you'll get yourself fucked-up down left right front back inside out =DDD

#4. I must save more. Cause driving lessons cost as much as a golden bomb and I'm practically broke =(

LOSER! I'm spending like a billionaire's daughter!

#5. I need to learn how to cook more sophisticated dishes. Not just instant noodles, fried foods, water, rice and sambal cause I'm expected to know how to cook lauk raye (raya dishes) when married and it takes years to become a good cook. Yelar, masak tak sedap nanti laki lari rumah gi lepak rumah mak ngechek makanan =P

I can cook =D But I need instructions while doing so.

#6. I must stop the bad habits I have like... procrastinating, being demanding, sleeping late, waking late, eating junk food, being the queen of Late Land, not shaving my armpits often (haha!) and making Boo Boo pamper me. Cause it is time I realize that the world does not revolves around my beautiful red panties =(

I'm still procrastinating, demanding, sleeping late, waking late, eating junk food, being the queen of Late Land and making Boo Boo pamper me =( However, I do shave my armpits often so... I'm halfway there aites?

#7. I need to wean myself off from Boo Boo. Cause I'm taking too much of his time (am I?) that his world now revolves around my beautiful red panties instead =P

Tried but failed coz our time together is too precious to me. The NS experience only makes it worse coz I can't wait to meet Boo Boo and spend as much time together as possible before he has to book in camp. Those of you without a loVing boyfriend in NS will never understand this feeling so just shut up!

#8. I need to be more fierce. Cause people never understand until you scream their arses off =(

Hmm... I've decided to scrap "being fierce" coz appearing murderously calm works better. Hey, my dad's doctor commented my mom and me look like sisters but when he saw my expression... my dad got free medicine and consultation. That happened at SGH Urology Centre =D So yeah, be murderously calm.

#9. I need to be a more fulfilling child and be happy with whatever I have in life. Cause no one can stand an irritating ass always tugging for money =(

I'm happy with what I have. I don't ask for money from my parents and I DON'T GET ANY POCKET MONEY ANYMORE. I'm MISS INDEPENDENT. Well, almost. But it definitely feels good knowing that you're spending with your own money not your parents'. It makes me more wiser about my financial management.

#10. I must stop being a jealous bitch even when someone is trying to flirt with my Boo Boo. Cause I'm an angel =P

Nyaha! Only a girlfriend who doesn't loVe her boyfriend deeply won't be affected. Anyway, this resolution #10 was made for fun ya.

HAHAHAHAHA! I think I need to work harder at keeping my resolutions. I'm gonna list my 2010 resolutions now:

#1. Lose 6kg from my weight as of now and keep it off!

#2. Lead a healthy active lifestyle. Means more exercise and eating clean! CUT DOWN ON FATTY FOODS AND BEVERAGES! EAT LESSER!

#3. Stabilize my finances. I need to draw up a budget and stick to it!

#4. Focus on my studies more! Put in my best efforts! No slacking! After all, I've screwed up my grades damn bad enough this year =(

#5. Start writing my own recipe book. I aim to be able to cook independently before marriage ey. My own recipe book will help me when I'm lost coz I'm sure everyone needs guidance once in a while.

#6. Keep my loved ones happy. That includes my hamsters and cats.

#7. Be recognized.

#8. Curb my bad habits, especially procrastinating and being late.

#9. Get my driving license.

#10. Keep my relationship with Boo Boo going strong and more loVing. 6 more years... 6 more years... Tomorrow it'll be 5 more years. WAH!

Those are my resolutions for 2010 and I'm determined to accomplish at least 8 of them. Wish me luck =)

That's all for now. It's 11.52pm. 8 minutes to a whole new year. I hope we'll get to 2011 together without anyone left behind for good.

*kisses* LoVe you guys!

GOODLUCK!

Last Days With H'nie

2009-06-11T04:49:00.000+08:00

Before he's enlisted, that is =(

Marina Barrage, BBQ, Marina Barrage, Sentosa, Marina Barrage, and Starbucks =D
We wanted to make more memories and have as much fun before our time is up.

Boo boo's dad was using his family car so I got my dad to borrow us the car instead. Dad told h'nie not to let me drive =X Boo's wearing dad's sunglasses in the picture above. Chey... fierce sey! HAHAHAHA!

Tomorrow, enlistment day.

H'nie Graduates!!!

2009-05-19T04:05:00.000+08:00

19th May 2008, Tuesday.

Today, h'nie b'nie graduated from Temasek Polytechnic School of Information Technology. Each graduand was given only two guest tickets (annoying!!!) but my boo boo managed to get another two extra tickets. He worked hard to get the ticket for me so I can't possibly refuse, right? So yeah, I went with boo's friend.

As usual, I couldn't sleep til 4am and had to force myself awake at 7am. That's only 3 hours of sleep!!! Which explains why I had super dark purple-ish circles under my eyes in the graduation photos posted at facebook... Whatever lah! I'm happy I got to go =D

Oh ya, the fruit tarts served were AWESOME. I loVe fruit tarts and pastries. Ate alot of it too (double happiness).

Anyways, photo time!!!

Jeng! Jeng! Jeng!
After the ceremony ended, we fled down to Marina Square to have lunch at Breeks Cafe. My treat =D

I think we've become a regular at MS Breeks Cafe. H'nie and me just loVe the ambiance and food there. It's so relaxing and the service is great. Food quality is definitely better than Swensen's.

Night was spent strolling outside esplanade.

Headed home around 10pm.

I miss my h'nie b'nie boo already =(

I know I'm gonna miss all those times we spent lazing in the library and labs, loitering all around poly to pass the time, eating at itas and much more. After all, that's where our earliest memories together we made. Oh well, we'll be starting a new phase of life from now on. And it's called...

THE NS EXPERIENCE

Fucken Desperados!!!

2009-05-12T22:03:00.008+08:00

Lately, I've been getting numerous amount of emails from desperate con pigs! I'm super super super angry la! Stop spamming and conning can? I've got not much time to clear out my mailbox every day ok! Unlike you pigs, I've got deadlines, exams, a job, family, friends and boyfriend to juggle.

I think this is one of the effects of the current financial crunch. People get fired and end up preying on others' money. Like this morning, I received an email from one of these jerks.

Click to enlarge

Don't ask me how they got my email address and how these mail didn't get directed straight to my junk mail folder. This person thinks I'm so stupid lah sey. He thinks just because he uses "Windows Live Team" as his name, I will get deceived and reply him with my username and password.

Firstly, microsoft isn't so stupid to block their own email to their consumers. They pay their employees to make sure every single detail is perfect; a glitch like accidentally blocking their own mail will never happen in a million years!
Secondly, they won't be using sebastiangacki@hotmail.com to send mails!

What?! Microsoft got no money to even provide their employees with a company email address issit?!?!?! Wah! Like that a small unknown SME in China also much richer than microsoft la! Coz all their employees got company email address...

Thirdly, a multi-billion dollars MNC like microsoft so not professional in their customer handling one ar? Presentation of mail to consumers like a used piece of toilet paper heh? Like the one below ar? Like kindergarten kids writing mail ehk?

Username dot dot dot
Password dot dot dot
You conman really that stupid one ar? Never been to school before heh?

"This Email is from Hotmail Customer Care and we are sending it to every Hotmail Email User Accounts Owner for safety."

What 'safety'? LIAR! What harm will an unused account do to other users?!! FUCKER!

And let me ask you, what's the purpose of hotmail setting up the automatic shutdown of 3 months unused account function? You seriously think a company like microsoft will employ people just to manually shutdown accounts heh? Please la! Microsoft is ahead of technology, they're not doing things like the stone age era! You, on the other hand, is at the ass-end of technology. And oh, how come not every hotmail user received your toilet paper like you said? STUPID SWINE!

An original mail from microsoft is like the one I've posted below.

Sent using company email address, well presented and UNBLOCKED.

You brainless conman thought I'm the kanchiong type one, right? Thought I'm so scared my account get shutdown heh? Please la, I'm the customer, and no business will turn down a customer... unless they wanna go bankrupt. So what if my account gets closed? Got no Gmail? No YahooMail? No PaccificNet? Haiya! Some innocent people may fall for your trick... BUT THE PARANOID SURVIVES! And yeah, I approach everything with doubt.

Another conjob is the one below...

WHO IN THIS WORLD IS FREAKING GENEROUS TO GIVE AWAY 20 MILLION DOLLARS TO SOMEONE THEY'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF?!?!?!?!

Firstly, you wrote "Greetings,I am Mrs Rita Rahim, the wife of Ali Rahim..." then you signed off as "Mr Rita Rahim." What are you? A fucken SHE-MAN?!?!?!

Secondly, "..hereby give authorization to the Bank to tansfer the fund to you as my representive and act as the sole beneficiary to my inheritance deposited fund in your bank by my late husband. He dead with my children and left with the Bank Of Allan Carter the sum of 20 million dollars." HAHAHAHA! If your late husband was really that rich, he'd have sent you to at least learn how to write proper English. What's "He dead with my children"? Your children died with him heh? Funny la sey.

And HELL-oooo now financial crisis still can give away money free free one ar? If I have that amount of money, I'll probably donate to the rightful bodies to be distributed to the needy. But never, I repeat- NEVER give it away to people I've never in my whole entire life heard of nor met before. Which person in their right mind will do so?

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!! Who taught you con techniques like this?!?!?! Your con-master really that motherfucking brainless heh? KNNCCB!!!

Haiz... times like this, people try so hard to con and get some money out of you. They'll use all methods to disguise themselves. Like the fucker who disguised as a microsoft hotmail representative, he thought he can get hold of others' account and then ask them to transfer money to him before letting the poor guy get his account back. You conman think I have no idea what you all are up to, right? Think again, I've studied human behaviors eversince forever!

And that stupid she-Man... you're not the first to send emails like that. Millions of conman has done so. Cases like that has even appeared in the news!!! They claim got money to transfer to your bank account la, this la, that la but in the end must first transfer them a five to six figure sum for admin stuffs. WHAT CRAP!

I SUPER LOATHE CON PEOPLE! WHY CAN'T THEY WORK HARD FOR THEIR MONEY LIKE OTHERS?!?!?! SO GREEDY!!! CON PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STINKING SWINES!!!

Why swine? Coz pigs are greedy what...

Thank God I'm blessed with a fast thinking mind.

So peeps, if you've been conned, please act fast before these people take action and grab hold of your hotmail account. Please change your password now! Password's the most important thing. Goodluck!

Oke, I'm off for now. Haiz... will be working tomorrow morning. But I can't wait for Sentosa with H'nie B'nie once I've knocked off work! Yayyyy!!!

oh the butt-ness

2009-04-23T17:28:00.001+08:00

I have the most beautiful butt in the world and my sister knows it coz she saw me walking to the bathroom naked =DDD

Beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Cheers!

Hamster drive Ferrari‏

2009-03-17T02:37:00.003+08:00

I received the picture below titled as above in an e-mail from Boo.

I guess that's his idea of "playing with your hamster daily".
Wah! Boo makes a good daddy to our ickle little baby hor!

"Burger tengah drive kreta.
Bezoom Bezoom..!!"

How cute...!!!

Like Magic!

2009-02-14T01:12:00.003+08:00

"I wasn't looking for this.
You know I was doing just fine by myself, on my own.

I didn't want to fall in love
Just wanted to have a little fun.
Then you came and swept me up, and now I'm done... so done.
Falling madly deeply I surprised myself enough to find that what's begun is loVe.

I wasn't looking for this, and
now I'm done, I'm done."

2 years passed within a blink of an eye, or so it seems.
But reality check, it's 24 months, 104 weeks, 730 days, 17520 hours, 1051200 minutes, 63072000 seconds of our lives! That much time we've spent together had been beautiful. Of course everything comes in a package of good and bad. But we've been strong enough to pull through thick and thin moments together without falling apart. We've had our fair share of fights that left us awfully miserable. But whatever happens, it all boils down to one thing: We can't help missing each other even for a day. For that, how bad the fight is, at the end of the day we realize we can't do without each other and reconcile. I guess we grew up on each other.

Years before I first knew you, I thought I wanted to live life alone. Be a spinster with 13 gorgeous black cats. Be the top of the world. And my belief was "to ditch rather than get ditched". But when we started living life together, all those changed. I don't want to live life without any loVe; life is too empty and lonely without loVe. I don't want to be a spinster, it's such a sad unfulfillable life. And I'd rather get ditched than ditch. This way, at least I know I've tried my best to keep the relationship going and am not a loser quitter when the going gets tough. And hey, I won't be the one to regret when happy moments flashes back.

People change with time.
I change.
You change.
We can't help it.
We can only hope and wish that we'll only change for the better.

Thanks for the gifts.
Thanks for the joys.
Thanks for the laughters.
Thanks for your warmth.
Thanks for your loVe.

I hope this is not too late... Happy 2nd year anniversary H'nie!!! I'll try to be your angel with that gentle touch. Sorry if I've been rough towards you. I guess I still have that tomboyish trait in me =D

***
Oke, enough mushy stuffs. 14th February didn't turn out as how Boo and me planned. The BBQ had to be canceled at the very very very last minute. What a bummer!

So then we decided to collect our babies today instead of tomorrow. Ya ya ya, so that at least there's something memorable done on our anniversary. We adopted a pearl white (ham) and a safyer (burger) baby. They're soooooooo small! Small small HamBurger =P

Say 'Hamholla!' to Ham. She's gorgeous, ain't she?

Now say 'BurgerBolla!' to Burger. He's the one running on the wheel in this pic. Fat fat lazy Burger! Run so slow!

I loVe our babies alot though. So so so cute. And oh, my babies come to stay with me only on weekends. They spend the weekdays with their daddy.

...Suddenly I don't know what else to write here. Hmm, I guess you peeps will have to wait for my next post then. I'm off for now. TEE!

BOTTOMS UP!

2009-02-11T02:06:00.000+08:00

The truth of before and after marriage =)

Before marriage….

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage….
Simply read from bottom to top.

SUPER BABY!!!

2009-01-29T03:55:00.002+08:00

I remembered I had alot to drink 1 night at some club and was quite tipsy after many different drinks on an empty stomach. Among them, was a lychee martini which I was savouring slowly while dancing to the music. I was leaving my darling precious lychee to the very last even after I've drained the martini. Somehow, when I returned my attention to my glass after my dance(I was dancing nearby actually), IT WAS GONE.

HOW FURIOUS I WAS!

God dammit! The feeling is just like when you're eating your nasi lemak and leaving your ultra big juicy drumstick for the very last....and just a wink it disappear!!!!!

Searching wildly on the whole long table but i just cant find my darling lychee in my glass! I was so indignant that i stalked over to the bar counter(which was quite empty at the late hour), and pointed an accusing finger at a bartender who was so unlucky to be picked by me.

"You!! Your waiter cleared away my lychee martini when i haven't even finish my LYCHEE!!"

U can just imagine the poor bartender's tortured and innocent look, stammering..
"so so so..now you wan lychee martini or just the lychee??"

"I WANT MY LYCHEE!!!

"ok ok right away!!

SO I got a glassful of lychees...about 5 or 6 lychees inside. HAHA. With a quick toss of my head and a loud "HNG" i just stalked back to my place with my friends..

""""

In the morning when i woke up.....its a loud "OH ######....".....with my face hidden in my palms...

Super glad Angin has gotten discharged from the vet. Poor sayang got liver problem =(

Haiya, I hope the medication can cure him fully.

Doinks Doinks

2009-01-05T01:47:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow I'm going for a good sunny day out picnic at Sentosa with Boo Boo again =)
Only that, it happens my "tomorrow" is actually today because it is 1.48am and 1.48am is considered a new day even though I've not slept and ended my 4th january yet. Doinks doinks!

And and, I'm gonna wear a hot HOT bikini to suntan on the beach till my skin colour goes black macam keling pariah hitam. Hahaha, I sounded so racist! No lah, I'm not racist oke... at least I think so.

Riiiiiiiiight, I know you're all going, "yeah right! this girl wearing bikini? hahaha! never going to happen!"

Why can't you people ever believe me when I say that kind of thing?!

Doinks Doinks!!!

-.-

I'm addicted to "doinks doinks"

Doinks Doinks..

a new beginning

2009-01-01T00:01:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!!

May God bless us all =)
And oh, Boo, let's have donuts to welcome goodluck.

For whatever 2009 shall bring, all of us (yes, you, you, you, and you) will always be loVed by me.

Cheers!

Time check: 12.04am

toss my coin

2008-12-31T23:48:00.003+08:00

There's only a few minutes of 2008 left.

Where should I begin? Hmm...

2008 has been a very experimental year. Alot of new experiences came with it. Alot of ups and downs. Alot of realizations. Alot of joys shared. And alot of tears shed.

It was the year I officially fell under the category of late teens as well thus those many experiences. I guess all that happened was to make me more mature and wiser for the future.

Somehow, I sense 2009 isn't going to be fantastic. I feel 2009 will be the year I, We, Us tread dangerous waters. I don't know why I have this feeling.

Oh well, I'm going to miss 2008 dearly. Yes, more dearly than any other years that has passed. Because 2008 showed me how life really is. The harsh world. The harsh truth.

Dearest 2008, I'm not going to forget you. However, GOODBYE!

I'm already missing you but, GOODBYE!

Like The Stripes On My Pants

2008-12-30T02:14:00.004+08:00

I don't know which is worst. The fact that I have a freaking tummy ache right at this moment or that pet society has busted me a grand total of more than 10,000 paw points. And that's TEN THOUSAND paw points. I could've been on level 26 or 27 already sey. Like fuck liao.

Damn! I need the toilet now!
.
.
.
I'M BACK!!! Hahas... that's an hour spent in the toilet =) At least the tummy ache is gone. Oke oke, somehow I realized that almost no one has blogged about their new year resolutions yet. Maybe it's the effect of the current financial crunch. People all busy working their arses off to save their jobs and money. Doinks! And I don't know why I feel the panic of what's going on around the world. It feels like we're all going to be very poor in times to come and that world war 3 IS going to happen real soon. Damn it! This is so gonna sound lame but...

I WANT WORLD PEACE!!!

Yes, I do. Because, even though death may seem to be a beautiful thing, it is ugly when you lose the ones that you loVe. Reading the news about how innocent lives were lost in attacks and all, it just makes me sad to see innocent people dying for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. No, it's not fair at all. Those people may have a lot planned out for their lives and all is lost, snatched away by violence.

I seriously don't want to live through a war. I hate the idea of living in terror. I hate the idea of innocent people dying. I hate thinking that my Boo Boo is going to be whisked off to NS very much too soon. Worst, I HATE THE IDEA OF MY BOO BOO BECOMING BOTAK!!!

My Boo Boo botak is so awkward. IT'S LIKE CAT WITHOUT FUR!!! OR MEE REBUS WITHOUT MEE!!!

You may think I'm overreacting but I've never liked looking at a botak person. Because botak reminds me of skinheads. CHEEEEEBAAAAAAAAAI!!!

Haiz... whatever it is, I'll just pray that God will not let violence take away my loVed ones. Seriously, I'd rather be the one dying than the one who has to live with the grieve of losing someone you cared for. Cause there's no such thing as "moved on" or "gotten over" when you lose someone you really truly loVed. Know why I said that? Well, simply because you will still long for that person and feel immensely sad that you'll might even cry whenever you think of that person. Hmm...yeah, I'm still grieving those I've lost. I've never gotten over or moved on. I just live the moment I have as best I could.

OMG!!! This post has been so random! All I wanted to blog about was my new year resolutions =.=

Oke, New Year resolutions... hmm... I don't really know what I should set my mind on. Hmm...kk, let's see...

#1. I NEED TO LOSE AT LEAST 5KG!!! I don't want to turn into a fishball. Cause it's sad that I'm not one of those who looks cute when chubby =(

#2. I need to practice proper time management. Cause it's never enough to just learn about it =(

#3. I must make myself emotionally strong. Cause people will always accidentally hurt you and I'm too old to bawl and whine =(

#4. I must save more. Cause driving lessons cost as much as a golden bomb and I'm practically broke =(

#5. I need to learn how to cook more sophisticated dishes. Not just instant noodles, fried foods, water, rice and sambal cause I'm expected to know how to cook lauk raye (raya dishes) when married and it takes years to become a good cook. ~~Yelar, masak tak sedap nanti laki lari rumah gi lepak rumah mak ngechek makanan =P~~

#6. I must stop the bad habits I have like... procrastinating, being demanding, sleeping late, waking late, eating junk food, being the queen of Late Land, not shaving my armpits often (haha!) and making Boo Boo pamper me. Cause it is time I realize that the world does not revolves around my beautiful red panties =(

#7. I need to wean myself off from Boo Boo. Cause I'm taking too much of his time (am I?) that his world now revolves around my beautiful red panties instead =P

#8. I need to be more fierce. Cause people never understand until you scream their arses off =(

#9. I need to be a more fulfilling child and be happy with whatever I have in life. Cause no one can stand an irritating ass always tugging for money =(

#10. I must stop being a jealous bitch even when someone is trying to flirt with my Boo Boo. Cause I'm an angel =P

Phew! Done. And those resolutions are from deep within me. Seriously. But #10 is very impossible. BECAUSE ANY SLUT DOING SO WILL HAVE NOT ONE BUT TWO HUMONGOUS CUCUMBERS STUFFED RIGHT UP THEIR PUSSY!!! Geddit?

Hahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!

Oke people, it's nearing 4.30am. I'm off for now. Tomorrow got school ley. Nite nite!!!

ANNOYED

2008-12-15T00:26:00.004+08:00

Extremely annoyed. I feel like not continuing with pet society.
Second time, this is the second time I get busted by it.
This time I took print screens of my before and after scores.
Just take note of the time as well.
Click on the pictures to enlarge.

This was before exiting the page.
And below is when I returned to the page.

I seriously don't know what else to do. It's just a waste of time to clean and feed my pet if I won't be able to gain anything. Oh well, I sent playfish a support request for this stupid fucking problem. Let's see how long it will be before they reply (if they even reply, that is).

For now, I'm not sure if I want to keep playing. Maybe not. Who wants to waste time on getting annoyed and angered everytime, right?

And to those of you still playing the game, goodluck aites. God knows if playfish might want to bust us all off from finishing the whole game. Maybe they're trying to "buy" time, that's why. Or maybe their database kena attack by bugs. Crap!

ROOOAAAARRRR!!!!

2008-12-14T01:32:00.002+08:00

I...AM...

affronted,
annoyed,
antagonized,
bitter,
chafed,
choleric,
convulsed,
cross,
displeased,
enraged,
exacerbated,
exasperated,
ferocious,
fiery,
fuming,
furious,
galled,
hateful,
heated,
huffy,
ill-tempered,
impassioned,
indignant,
inflamed,
infuriated,
irascible,
irate,
ireful,
irritable,
irritated,
maddened,
offended,
outraged,
piqued,
provoked,
raging,
resentful,
riled,
sore,
splenetic,
storming,
sulky,
sullen,
tumultuous,
turbulent,
vexed,
wrathful

in simplest term, i am just so freaking ANGRY.

I spent 2 fucking hours playing pet society, managed to move up 2 assholic levels, collected almost 5,ooo points, got a bigger dickhead house with 5 rooms, saved close to 10,ooo coins... and pet society took 2 seconds to backlash me.

You know what that means?

IT MEANS MY 2 FUCKING HOURS ARE FUCKING WASTED BECAUSE I AM FUCKINGLY BACK TO WHERE I FIRST FUCKING STARTED 2 FREAKING FUCKING FUCK HOURS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO FUCKSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!!!

And FUCK, I am too fucking motivationally handicapped to even fucking start playing that fucking game again, FUCK!!!

I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED. I'M SO PISSED.

...and yes, I'M SO PISSED.

Quietly Loud While I'm Noisily Silent

2008-12-05T02:02:00.006+08:00

My only belief is not to have faith in believing.

I am above being under.

This is where I've got to draw the line cause I refuse to let you think you can play with my mind. Always seems that you think that I'm blind cause there are always certain times when you're hard to find. And it no longer can be ignored cause once upon a time it was you I adored.

You disappeared and left me here, out in the cold. And the absence of you is hurting my soul. Didn't know there was an end to the road. It was so easy for you just to let it all go.

Remember when I told you I could feel the change...
You don't touch me the same, don't hold me the same.
No, I don't want you to take all the blame cause I know I had those moments when I caused the pain. This back and forth just like a war between you and me. See, we both disagree, have we ever agreed?

This is nothing like I thought it would be.
Was it all just a dream?
Was it ever in my reach?

"Have you ever felt like you have everything yet nothing at all?"

"Ahh... that beautiful sad feeling inside. No connections. Just felt."

Swensen'S with the Big FAMILY

2008-11-27T21:12:00.004+08:00

Wednesday, 26th November 2008

I am so touched that Aunt Nisha asked me and B'nie Boo to come for Saadiqa's belated birthday celebration at Swensen's. I enjoyed the day out alot alot. It was really fun to laugh together. Me and Boo got chocolates as present for Saadiqa since I think it is better to give her something she can keep in her stomache. Hee~

We were supposed to be at the airport by 3.30pm but then, at that time, me and B'nie were still at the bus stop waiting for the bus. No need to say much, we reached there around 4.15pm. But luckily the birthday girl and Aunt Nisha also just arrived. Too bad for Nanaz and Yoges who waited for us there since 3pm. Sorry hor, we didnt mean to be late.

Well, we ordered our food and chatted noisily. Aunt Nisha said I'm her daughter and Boo is her son-in-law. Then she said Nanaz keeps grenade in the hat she's wearing. Then we started laughing like crazy becoz Aunt Nisha keeps going on and on teasing poor Nanaz. But what she said was seriously very funny. Nanaz, i can totally feel for u. But your mom is seriously super hilarious. Hahas...

Okok, I ate chilli fish pasta and it wasn't as spicy as I hope it was. But at least it still tasted good. Had my favourite favourite FROSTED CHOCOLATE MALT ice-cream to wash down the meal after that.

We took many many photos. Seriously. But all the pictures happens to be in Nanaz's loVely T77 sony digicam. Oke lah, I took some with my camera phone but too bad my handphone has been sent to the emergency ward after being bitchy for months. You know what that means?

I NEED A DIGI CAM!!!!!!!!!! ANYONE WANTS TO SPONSOR ME ONE????

Oh well, forget pictures then. And oh, Saadiqa gave out presents to us even though it's her birthday. It was seriously very thoughtful of them. I simply loVe the necklace I was given. End of the day, the bill came up to $100++. Wah! if I have to pay that amount...

SENTOSA!!!

2008-11-25T00:54:00.011+08:00

Saturday, 22nd November 2008

After weeks of planning, h'nie b'nie boo and me finally set foot on Sentosa. The island is beautiful. Very much like Hawaii with the tropical trees. I'm freaking sure it's a romantic place to be in at night with that kind of ambiance. Boo, next time we go during sunset okies...

We planned to set off from my house at 10.30am EXACTLY. B'nie Boo reached my house around 10.20am. I was frying some nuggets to bring along for our picnic. So yeah, 10.40am then I was ready. But we were lucky because my family was going out at the same time and dad agreed to drop us off at the MRT station. Save tenage guer. Hoho!

Back to Sentosa. I like Palawan Beach the most. Gorgeous... minus the fact there's many bikini-clad girls lying around on the beach.

Oke fine, it was scorching hot cause the time was around 12pm and that means the God bless sun was frying us from directly the top of our heads. We couldn't stand the heat but, oh well, it wasn't as bad when we got to the top of the tower at Palawan Beach. Kinda windy up there so we figured that's the best place to have our little picpic. I was starving by then because I did not have any breakfast except for the nestum drink before leaving house.

And it was very nice of Boo Boo's mommy to cook specially for us and pack us some food. ~~Mak metua guer jugak pe.~~ And as most of you all know, when I'm full, I get sleepy and when I'm sleepy, I go crazy. Which explain the pictures below...

Oops! Ignore my hot pink bra.

I don't know what's up with my tongue that day. I guess that's how crazy people pose heh.

Boo called my yellow strap "bikini strap" because of its patterns.

That was before I fell asleep right there on top of the tower next to B'nie. We left the tower close to 4pm when I got a bit too uncomfortable due to my period. Went to the toilet straight and I sat in there for 20mins. My cramps got worst at the wrong timing lah! BINGIT!

Left the toilet and I was moaning and groaning and crying like nobody's business. The cramps were horribly painful all because I forgot to take the doctor's pain killers before leaving home. Boo supported me all the way to the 7-eleven to get panadols and a BIG bottle of Evian mineral water. Our supply of water earlier wasn't enough. What luck sey.

Went to sit at those benches close to the bus bay. I swallowed the 2 pills with much difficulty (halfway I almost puke from the period nausea lucky I managed to control myself). My head was seriously pounding like hell. So, right there and then, I lay down on the bench with my head resting on Boo's lap. I didn't care that people were looking at me lying there cam orang giler. I don't know how long I lay there. But I know it was close to 6pm when I recovered enough strength to sit up though my legs were still trembling like jello.

I opened my eyes and smiled at H'nie B'nie. I LoVe the way he's so concern and caring for me. I didn't want to let the cramps spoil our fun. Good enough that the pills worked fast to reduce the pain to a minimal. So yeah, I forced myself to be positive... and that seriously put my mind off from the pain =)

See, I woke up and can start snapping again. Boo gave me the spirit mah. I LoVe this 2 pics the most.

Oke oke, back to my story. We decided to head back to Vivo cause B'nie wanted to get himself new shoes. Went for a short stroll first to clear our heads first at the top floor.

I LoVe sunset. Always had and always will. Sunsets makes me feel nostalgic. I don't know why though.

Christmas is approaching. So fast it's coming to the end of the year. Boo hoo hoo. I still want to remain 17 forever.

Macam cepat gitu muka aku dah macam kakak2. Hahas... whatever it is, I'm glad me and H'nie B'nie are still in LoVe. You want know what's my secret to a happy relationship? Well, easy: Don't throw yourself to any guy who comes your way. He may show interest. But most guys only likes the thrill of the chase. I'm glad we spent time to get to know each other well enough before starting this beautiful ties.

OMG!!! I've side-tracked again. Back to my story!!!

We looked around here and there but none of the shoes really caught Boo's eyes. So we headed down to City Hall. Went to Suntec and we wandered from one tower to another. Finally I dragged Boo over to the Converse shop there. And yup, the new arrivals caught H'nie B'nie's eyes. Boo tried the shoes and settled on the one with red-linings. We relaxed at the benches for a while before taking the bus home.

Reached home close to 11pm and I was dead beat. Very very tired. My legs were aching. Had a light dinner then washed up and went straight to bed.

Sunday, 23rd November 2008

I woke up pretty late. Boo and me didn't go anywhere much today. We were still tired from the day before and it was raining dinosaurs. I read a book throughout the afternoon. At 5.30pm, Boo asked me out but the same time sis told me that we were going out for dinner soon. And so, H'nie B'nie joined my family for dinner. I simply LoVe having dinner with a complete family (Boo considered a family member also hor).

My family went home after dinner. Boo and me drove around in his car for some fun then. We dropped by the Pasar Malam. Bumped into Dee a few times there. We bought milkshake and 2 donuts and had a chat before heading home.

Oke, I'm done here for now. Thanks for reading people. You all must be crazily in LoVe with me to have read all those words. Hahas...

And so, I shall end this post with the word I used to use alot 2 years ago when I started blogging:

TOODLES

Caught Up

2008-11-21T23:29:00.003+08:00

The exam paper was whore-rible.
But I'm glad it's over baybeh!

I refused to look back at my notes and book to check whether I answered correctly because I think there is simply no good enough reason for it. It's over. You can't do anything to change it. And if I were to check and realize I answered wrongly, I will have to face a whole 3 months of grieve about it. So yeah, it's better not to check, right? At least I get to be happy...

Only I have to start working a million times harder if I want to appear in the newspaper upon graduation =)

Boo Boo, IM THE BEST DAMN THING THAT YOUR EYES HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!

Oke, I've suddenly got that Avril Lavigne song playing over and over again in my head after hearing it from Husayn's blog. How contagious...

Sentosa tomorrow with H'nie B'nie Boo Boo Boozhoom. Only the 2 of us. And we are going to have the most beautiful times in our lives there. I'm going to snap many many pictures but I aint gonna share all of them here for certain reasons. And Im sorry if my handphone is going to die extra early tomorrow because its battery wont be able to last long from all the photo-takings we're gonna do.

Till then, I LOVE ALL MY LOVELY DARLINGS!!!!

...& Boo, bikini can?

Panas Yo!

2008-11-19T00:15:00.001+08:00

EXAM!!! EXAM!!! EXAM!!!

BUAY TAHAN LIAO!!!

I have a task though:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAADIQA!!!

=)

addiction to self

2008-11-18T03:35:00.003+08:00

It is 3.34am and I'm suppose to be studying for my exam this Wednesday. However, I suddenly had the urge to go profile-hopping (NO, not blog-hop). I can't help but to have tons of comments and I need to rant them off.

Haiz... I notice soooo many girls just loVe to look distorted. Please lah, buy powder, foundation etc that matches your freaking skin colour and tone. It looks bloody fugly to have a face as white as Michael Jackson and a dark chocolate body colour. VERY ORBIANG LEY. It's either you goddamn buy make-up that matches your colour or be ready to apply it onto ALL of your exposed skin.

Much worst when they claim they're comfortable living under their skin. Fucking ironic, oke. If you wear make-up to even out your skin making it neater not change its colour, that's fine. But if you do it to make yourself fairer, doesn't that mean you're not comfortable living under your skin?

Oke, next point. DO NOT! DO NOT! DO NOT EVER LOAD ON THE BLUSHER!!! Because if you do, you'll look like a faggoty clown. I know not all of us are blessed with rosy cheeks but that does not give you a reason to fuck up your face badly. A light tint of pink should do the trick. But WHY, WHY DO GIRLS THESE DAYS ASPIRE TO BE A LIVING DOLL WITH WHITE FACE, ULTRA RED CHEEKS AND BLACK BODY?!?!?!?

NEXT, fatASSes, please please please, you are hurting my eyes. If you know you're friggin FAT, can you please be decent enough to not wear T-I-G-H-T clothings. It doesn't help at all because it'll only make you appear fatter than godzilla's ass. A decent wearing fatASS looks WAYYYY better than a slutty fatAss. Tight clothings will only accentuate each and every fold of tummies you have.

Next, super skinny bony girls, can you please cover up your scary legs. It's nightmarish to see bones sticking out from under ultra mini shorts. If you really want to reveal so much of your sickening skin, GO NAKED! And if you get molested by banglas, don't blame them for your own itchiness. In fact, I totally think you deserve to get gang-banged. GO DIE LAH!

NEXT. Minahs, you all look like toyols without eyebrows. What's up with the sharp skinny lines of drawn on eyebrows? What kind of trend is that? I don't see professional celebrities with those kind of eyebrows. It is still better if you do not shave off your eyebrows entirely, you know. Because it is a fact that toyol do not have eyebrows. So yeah, the next time I see anyone without eyebrows, I shall embarrass you ultimately.

*sigh*

Ugly stupid blind stubborn girls irk me to death, seriously.

*sigh*

Like A Needle To The Eye

2008-11-12T23:41:00.002+08:00

Did I tell you that I've FINALLY collected my Advance Diploma certificate and transcript after 2 months since its release?

Hahas... I thought they've already burnt it for campfire.

Oh well, 19th November is THE exam date.
I'm not prepared. Not prepared. not prepared.
I'm talking about an exam for DEGREE, by the way.

I'm telling you, degree is damn tough. This is my first time feeling freaking choked.
Even when I was taking the BIG Os, Diploma or Adv.Diploma, it has never been this susah. I can't spare time without feeling a tinge of guilt. Damn looking forward to the end of exam.

And I hope I can cram a lot into my brain. I have not touched my books and notes for gazillion years. Actually, it's sorta kind of tradition for me to start studying only a day before or on the day of exam itself. I know I know, I'm crazy, yes. But hey, that's how I did well for exams =P

But people, please don't try that at all. Unless you have a brain like mine...

...coz my brain has only 20kilobytes of memory space during normal bodily condition...but when experiencing anxiety, it expands to the size of godzilla's ass. Which is about a gazillion gigabytes.

AWESOME

Jeng Jeng Jeng

2008-11-12T00:18:00.001+08:00

HELLO WORLD!!!

I AM FREAKING SORRY FOR NOT BLOGGING FOR A MILLION YEARS.

Next week my exam maah.
I'll be back soon aites.
Gimme 10 more days.

Heheheee...

Before She Cheats

2008-11-01T01:18:00.005+08:00

I find this image pretty amusing... and the next pic super hilarious!

(Click On Pic To Enlarge)

I know some people won't understand the images. Oh well, I'm not going to elaborate about what's up with the pictures. Just have fun!

H-I-G-H-L-I-G-H-T

2008-10-25T00:52:00.003+08:00

I'VE GONE TEMPORARILY NAUGHTY AND GOTTEN MYSELF PINKISH PURPLE HIGHLIGHT FOR MY LOVELY LOOOOONG LOOOONG HAIR.

Oke, so the picture above isn't the highlight that I'm having now. It's the highlight I had before Raya.

And oh, I'll blog about Hari Raya soon aites.

Big Bright Eyes

2008-09-30T06:11:00.004+08:00

New look for my blog. All I did was to change the background image and patterns. And also the fonts for my post area. I'm aware that the font I used before was amazingly small causing me to see white lines after reading through a long post. And because I DO NOT WANT YOU TO SUFFER as well, I've nicely replaced it with something much easier to read. Yeah yeah, this blogskin is extremely simple looking but I just want something fresh to the eye. Get it?

You know what? I think people are thinking thrice before tagging me. Especially strangers. My tagboard used to be tagged all the time but now it's hardly even moving one tag up. You know why? No? You want to know why then? I'll tell you. Do you notice that phrase beneath the tagboard? Yes, I think people are being rather "wise" down here. But it doesn't matter. Not at all.

I have a lot to blog about. I feel like typing them all out right here right now, however, I feel it's better for me to come up with a proper entry for these things as they should be respected by me. Oh well, we'll see how things go for the next entry.

I'll leave you now with the picture below to ponder:

An Insane Kind Of Sane

2008-09-21T23:42:00.004+08:00

Boo: Baby, my family coming your house today tau.
Baby: Apeeer je. Blom lagi raye.
Boo: Bukan nak jalan raye. Nak masuk meminang.
Baby: zzz...

Psst, I loVe you manyak manyak macam carrot cake tau =P
This is how I shall express it:

Saaaaayang H'nie B'nie Boo!!!

A BLIND KIND OF SIGHT

2008-09-21T01:36:00.004+08:00

Many many incidents happened the days following my last post. Time passes so fast. I've been living in only a portion of reality. Hari Raya inching closer yet I've not gotten myself anything to wear. Lucky I have the loVely Anna Sui purse Nanaz gave me and my open-toe silver boot-like heels that I spent close to a freaking $80 for. I did question myself about buying the heels though. It occurred to me that I've just burnt a damaging hole in my wallet. BUT... but but, the heels are darn comfortable for long distance walking despite being almost 4 inches high. OF COURSE! It's made of original REAL leather inside-out. Soft calf leather, in fact. So far I've not gotten any blisters from wearing it. And the best part is it being a designer shoe. Actually, really thinking of it, $80 for this kind of quality is kinda cheap. Say... value for money? Hmm...

Sometimes, I tend to spend like a ~~WHORE~~.

Which brings me to my question today:

IS BRAND/ING IMPORTANT???

I'm pretty sure a classmate of mine chose this topic for his business analysis. Quite interesting. You know, I used to think that BRANDS/ BRANDED merchandises are expensive as hell because of the QUALITY that comes along with it. 10 years ago, Nike was popular because its products are made of good QUALITY. 10 years ago, Bosch provides QUALITY long-lasting household items.

BUT THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO BEFORE THESE FIRMS DECIDED TO COMPROMISE THEIR QUALITY IN ORDER TO PUSH UP NET PROFIT.

Now, most of Nike's products are only popular for being EXPENSIVE. Youngsters buy it purely for the sake of showing off they can afford expensive items. They look pretty much like a bunch of abysmally foolish stuck-up arseholes to me. I'm sorry Nike, I know my pair of sandals is an exclusive one of yours (thank God it isn't one of those made without quality), but I can't agree that many of your products are living up to the brand name anymore.

And oh, now Bosch is just a brand too. Do you realise? ...that these products are being sold more expensive than the average because of their brands? It's like people are buying the brands NOT the real item itself. Don't you think buying a NAME, just a name, for $$$ is stupid?

WHERE'S THE JUSTICE FOR THAT AMOUNT OF CHING CHING I PARTED WITH FOR THESE PRODUCTS???

I can't help but realise ever since these products have been outsourced to places with cheap labours to be mass-produced that their quality drops like a lump of poo.

So my theory now is:
Any Merchandise Produced By Cheap Labour = Low Quality = Not Value For Money

Which ends up with me buying a product purely by being satisfied with its quality. Sad, isn't it? Firms start up humble making sure of quality only to end up greedy hoping that its past image will live up forever to cover the shit that they produce. I'm sorry, but image will fade with customers' experiences. Stupidity results in death.

And HAHAHA, this is why I chose "ARE FIRMS LOSING THEIR COMPETITIVE EDGE BY OUTSOURCING PRODUCTION" as my analysis report. I loVe criticism in a study.

And I don't think I was being dumb by buying the heels and my Nike sandals because both possesses adequate quality to qualify as value for money. If you can't apprehend whatever I've just said, it means you are being screwed too hard. Switch off that dildo, please.

P.S. I'll update about my personal life soon okies =)

GASP!!!

2008-09-01T18:33:00.003+08:00

Boo Boo decided to watch a movie yesterday and so we ended up at Cathay E!Hub again. And this time, we settled on an action movie. We watched DEATH RACE. Overall, the movie was quite thrilling and interesting. Not bad huh... But beware if you're not the type to see such violence and gore.

DEATH RACE is a movie that involves such violent brutality that you might get nightmares. I was literally gripping my seat before I decided to grip poor Boo Boo instead. We watched how people snuff it in such cruel, brutal manners just for freedom. We see people get creamed, literally creamed. Fleshes and blood sprayed everywhere. Nice...

HoHo! I know some of you think it's disgusting, right? But it's NC-16 maah of course it has to be this kind of things. And oh, I forgot to mention in my previous post that I caught MEET DAVE as well. Oke, MEET DAVE gets only 3 out of 5 stars from me. The movie practically has no plot. AT ALL. The only thing that made it worth watching was the humour.

Why do I get the feeling my blog has gone from a place for critics to becoming a movie review site?

HOKEYYY.. let's digress.

Damn! School starts this Wednesday. That is like 2 days away. I haven't even enjoyed my holidays yet! And this irritating mosquito keeps biting me. Fuck! Why is it so blood-thirsty?

Now is 2 minutes to 7pm. I better get ready for breakfast.

Eeeh wait, it's 7pm already.

I need a poo poo...

MOVIE VOOM

2008-08-27T23:55:00.013+08:00

Boo and me caught the sneak preview of Wall-E today at Cathay Downtown. Neither of us expected to get the tickets for such a cheap price at $6 per ticket. Oke fine, you say $6 is nothing because you can use your student pass to get it at that price. AHA! But you can get it only when it is not a sneak preview baybeh. Sneak previews are at $8.50 each. The point is, we got it at $6 because Boo Boo paid for it with his debit card. HOHO! I simply loVe discounts.

Wall-E was a great movie. I enjoyed watching it. Very touching and quite funny. A confession: I did cried abit while watching. Anyway, it has no obscene stuffs. GO WATCH LAH! But but, I think I prefer the LoVe Guru movie. It was much much funnier. Boo and me couldn't stop laughing. Trust me, everyone in the cinema was laughing their ass off. But of course, if you're a morally uptight asshole, don't watch it. LoVe Guru involves sexual humours which is why it is rated NC-16. They talk about penises and testacles alot. In LoVe Guru, Justin Timberlake acted as a dude with a humongous DICK. WOOHOO! Whatever.

And I've got some belated pressies from my bestbutts.

Fana Banana was sooo sweet. I was only joking when I told her I wanted a banana for my birthday but Fana went out of her way to get one for me. So nice of her right?

Not forgetting, Nanaz and her fam gave me a wrist watch and a, ahem, Anna Sui purse. Unfortunately, I didn't take any photo of it.

I LoVe my girlfriends alot alot too lah.

And Boo Boo also gave me a surprise present a week after my B'Day. You know what he got for me?

Click picture above to enlarge

Boo Boo gave me iPod skins. Not one but TWO. Both made in USA. I told you my bf is the nicest guy you can get.

Ignore my big hand. The skins are gorgeous. I had a hard time choosing which to use first. Hahas...
I LoVe you manyak manyak lah my H'nie B'nie Boo. You are much appreciated. Always.

Oh wait, I almost forgot to talk about the pyjamas party. It was superbly fun. We had movie marathon and ate durians. The movie 'Wanted' was extremely disappointing though. We don't even get the confusing storyline. And yeah, it's a NC-16 movie. Yeah yeah, because it had a few snips of sex scene. IT IS NOT SOMETHING I LIKE TO WATCH. Grrrah!!!

PS. I've published some draft posts. Scroll down slowly to catch what you've missed.

PSS. Thank Yous to all those who wished me a happy b'day. All of you are much appreciated. CHEERIOS!!!

OOO LALA

2008-08-09T22:05:00.004+08:00

HELLO WORLD!!!

Today I'm officially 17 ~~MONTHS~~ years old. My ~~BIG FAT~~ BOO BOO came over with his family to celebrate my aging FAT FAT ARSE. All went smoothly... well, except for the raining part. This is boring, lets skip to the pressies okies okies? =D

I know you KPO people are dying to know what Boo Boo gave me, right right right?

Oke, start your jealousy motors.

HERE'S THE PRESENT OF THE DAY FROM SAAAAAYANG...

I was esctatic. Can you tell what I got?
Take a closer look.
Not at my botak head yo; scroll down lah.

My Boo Boo is just so amazing LAH. It's 4GB iPod Nano 3rd Generation baybeh. Why is my Boo Boo so sweet? Ey ey, guilty conscious like what my lecturer said heh? Hohoho...

And that pajamas I'm wearing was Boo Boo's mummy's pressie.

Oke all set, tomorrow I have the right pajamas to wear to
PYJAMAS PARTY with Boo Boo.
We have many many fun tomorrow okies boo...

GOODBYE SWEET SIXTEEN

2008-08-08T23:54:00.001+08:00

Hello gorgeous people!!!

Sorry for the lack of updates.
I'll be back soon aites.

HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEN BABY

I WANT PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-30T12:52:00.004+08:00

Time Check: 12.53pm

Sweetheart is still in the surgery room. It's been close to 3hrs since he went in. I'm freaking dead worried. I hope he's fine.

Oh God, there's a tension knot in my chest and it's weighing me down. I feel so tired. I feel like crying. I can't think straight. I can't breathe properly. I'm so helpless right now.

Dear God, please let everything go smoothly. Amen.

UPDATE:

Time Check: 2.42pm

Sweetheart's mom called a minute ago. The surgery just ended. She said he's not conscious and still breathing through the oxygen mask. She sounded so tired, sad and worried. That somehow made my heart pumps faster. I can hear it beating in my ears and its pounding in my head. And I can't seem to calm myself down.

I think I'm hyperventilating for no reason.

I need my boo boo to wake up from this nightmare and assure me he's fine!!! Please boo, be strong for me...

GOD, HELP HIM!!! HELP ME!!! HELP US!!! God, we need you now...

UPDATE:

Time Check: 10.31pm

I skipped the second half of class just now. Couldn't understand a single thing taught by my lecturer so I gave up. My mind seems to be blocked and confused. All I know is that I'm having migraine. And how do I know it's migraine and not some intense headache? It's because I see flashes of light when I look at things. The doctor said it's migraine only of you see flashes of light like lightning. Hmm...

I called sweetheart's mom before start of class. She said boo boo woke up but was extremely weak that he doze off again. He can't even talk due to the pain he's suffering from. This is so sad. I need to visit him. I need to be by his side.

People, I'm going to Singapore General Hospital tomorrow morning. I'm going to hug my boo boo sweetheart so tight till he magically gets cured.

I loVe him so very much.

Dearest God, thank you for letting the surgery go smoothly. All I need is one more favour: please let him recover fully...

PUSSY HEADS

2008-06-18T13:33:00.004+08:00

For the record, I've been blogging for nearly 2years and a month. And I've realize there's just this (difference between 2 fingers) much that a blog can hold. Oh sure, life goes on each day and everyday, something changes. 2 years ago, my life wasn't this hectic and complicated. 2 years ago, I was still leading a happy 15th year of singlehood. 2 years ago, I was much better looking.

Oke, these days, I'm fucking busy. These days, I find blogging a bore. These days, I'm no longer my 2 years ago self. Whatever.

AND, THESE DAYS, PEOPLE ARE MUCH MORE RUDE THAN THOSE FUCKFACE BARBARIANS THAT I CAME ACROSS 2 FREAKING YEARS AGO. Whatever.

One day, I'm going to blog about my life as the sharp tongue tai-tai.
=)

F.E.E.L it

2008-05-18T13:29:00.002+08:00

"Gdnite B'nie Boo"
"Gdnite Baby Boo"
...
"Hmph! Call my full name lah..."
"Oh! ... Gdnite H'nie Baby Dear"
"Mmm, Gdnite H'nie B'nie Boo"

HALLOOOOOOOOOO WORLD!!!

Hell yeah, I know you people miss me like how I miss eating that chocolate fondue at Swensen's.
Hahas...
I'll be back soon. Promise.
My last exam paper will be on the 22nd May.
Sooooo, expect me back in less than a week.
Cheers!

FRY.DAY

2008-04-11T23:55:00.002+08:00

Today, my boo boo asked me to cook my own soup.
=.="
Which, of course, I don't know how to.

BOO'S BIRTHDAY

2008-03-20T23:40:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY HARUDARLING!!!

Baby loVe u manyak manyak.

Enjoy your gifts.

I know there's only 5 cute little candles on the B'Day ice-cream when there should be one big candle and 9 small ones. You wanna know why?

Psss... because he's still a young kid at heart.

So I got home with the empty tub and decided to take some pics of it.

NICE, RIGHT? NICE RIGHT?

Hahas...

extra toppings please

2008-03-17T01:02:00.005+08:00

Me and you, and you and me
No matter how they tossed the dice, it had to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

Life has been pretty well for me. School's re-opened and the first week of it has passed. Right now, I feel rather free but I guess I better start my assignments since I have six more weeks before submission and presentation for all modules.

I've been swimming at least twice a week and I'm getting darker and darker. Do I care? I guess a part of me says 'yes' and the other 'no'. I'm fine with looking tan but definitely 'NO!' if I end up going black. Right now, I don't know whether I'm tan or black. Seriously, I can't differentiate tan and black on myself but I can tell if others are. boo hoo hoo ~

Cookies & Cream ice-cream is the new LoVe. I can't seem to get enough of it. Mom bought a tub of it a few days ago and now it's gone. I'm getting fatter and I can't seem to be able to shed it off like usual. Hmm...

Riiiiight, so what's up with mothers today? They dress their ickle little daughters with slut-ish clothes and expect these miniature bitches to grow up to be some proper ladies. What the fucking hell is wrong with their brains?!?!?! Their kids are like 4 to 10 years old and already wearing barebacks. Like HELL-ooooooo what happened to moral and cultures? Gone down the NEwater drains and processed into NEwater drinks perhaps?

It irks me to see very young girls wearing slut-ish clothes and make-ups. Fuck these morons; they think they're grown-ups already. If a child is exposed to skimpy clothes when they're still brainless DUMBells, they're definitely going naked when they turn teenage. Great, just imagine more AIDS in this world now cause once a child turns into a bitch, they will definitely turn into sluts, whores, fuckers and whatever you wish to add on.

HOW CAN MOTHERS LET THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!?! ARE THEY SLUTS, THEMSELVES, THAT'S WHY THEY DON'T BOTHER?!?!?!?! GOD, THEY'RE MOTHERS!!! MOTHERS ARE SUPPOSED TO TEACH THEIR KIDS WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S WRONG.

Well, I call these kind of 'mothers', MUTHAPECKINGTOOTS. They are uncivilized and therefore not right to demand any respect from the civilized society... or at least ME.

I LOATHE BARBARIC FREAKS, GET IT?!!!! GO JOIN THE ORANGUTANS AND DON YOURSELVES WITH ONLY LEAVES SO CAN LOOK VERY VERY SEXY. N-A-B-E-H F-R-E-A-K-S!!!!

oke, that was a... erm... brilliant outburst i guess. phew!

Where was I before I sidetracked? Oh yes, I was telling you peeps that I can't seem to shed my fats. Right, fats fats fats fats fats and more fats. I'm always talking about fats hah? Oh well, I can't seem to be able to be satisfied until I lose those 4kilos. Whatever!

Wild Wild Wet will be crashed tomorrow... or maybe I should say 'today' since now is Monday? Hmm... whatever it is, I'm off now. 3.50am oredi ley. Have to wake up early to do my part of housework before going out at 1pm.

Pss... I can't be sure when my next update will be. Friday perhaps? I've spread out my week and it seems busy busy busy and busy. Sweetheart's birthday is this thurs and I'm ponteng-ing class to celebrate with him (oh yes i've got my mom's word that i can ponteng).

Psss... I know most of you might think I'm crazy to be listening to classical. But hey, I've got class...

DECEIVER

2008-03-13T03:34:00.006+08:00

I look like hantu.
=.=!!!
Imagine if I go around looking like that.
I bet thick liner, shadow and eyelash freaks will LoVe that though. Trust me, I didn't apply any black liners, shadows or extra fake lashes for this picture. The picture was originally like this...

So, some of you might've already recognize this picture. I look like those normal plain jane aite, I know. Oh wait, this is not even the really really genuine photo taken. Errr... the original one looks rather ugly with my hair and eyebrows messy. Hahas... I can't help it. I just have to look neat. But hey, I only made my brows and hair neater, nothing more. Riiiight, why am I even justifying my acts? Oke, back to business...

I WAS ONLY TRYING TO IMPLY THE POWER OF PHOTOSHOP.

How powerful it is that it can totally change the ugly you into some sort of gorgeous princess. Wah, now I'm talking. And oh, I forgot to state that I removed TWO pimples for that photo as well. Amazing much? Hahas... I'm learning real photoshop skills now. Imagine if I'm able to distort some bitch's face until she looks like a freaky German toad or something. Sweet revenge man!!!

Fine, so my skills are still the very most basic. Maybe I should show you how powerful Xiaxue's is.

Picture curtesy of xiaxue.blogspot.com, of course. Well, now you can see the real differences between the ugly original (left) and photoshopped (right) pictures. Awesome isn't it? I really envy her skills. But hey, I'm l-e-a-r-n-i-n-g here.

Now now, let's digress. I have another story to tell.

Last sunday was cuppycake's belated birthday party and it was celebrated at Costa Sands (Pasir Ris) Chalet. I'm not writing much since many who attended has blogged about it. Niwaes, I came close to 5pm and I went home at 8pm.

My dear dear poor banana was sabo-ed pretty badly this year, i say. Salt, cream and water balloons aren't a good combination, you know.

And Shahid still wasn't satisfied and proceeded to pour a packet of salt on her. hahas...

I said pose. And this is how they did it.

The aftermath. But still looking great.
=)
And those two will never stop teasing her.

Photo-taking skill sucks. Bad angle. My face sliced off.

Overall, the party was quite fun. If only darling Nanaz was there too; it would've been better. Oh well, sweetheart fetch me with the car when I went home that night and we had dinner at my house even though I wasn't that hungry. It's no wonder I've been putting on kilos. Ish! BABATS!

Oke, it is 4.40am in the morning and I have school in less than 15 hours time. Brilliant. Till here peeps. TOODLES~

P.S. Eera, i think you have most of the pictures i took oredi coz i sent them to fana. I think the only one you didn't get is the last pic. Cheerios!

FRIED BANANAS

2008-03-05T15:51:00.002+08:00

Trust me, this post has nothing to do with fried bananas =D
But, seriously, after talking to banana yesterday, I feel like eating fried bananas.
Oke, so who's going to take me on a fried banana date? Any takers?

Hahas, okok, I shall continue.
Soooooo, many many things have happened in the past seven(or issit 8?) days. I was really busy and I kept forgetting the days and dates and I think I was going senile.

E-X-A-M-S!!!

Yes, that's the reason why I was so freaking busy. Actually, I wouldn't had been so busy if I wasn't sick for 3 weeks before the exam. Because I was sick, my assignments were put on hold and, well, I had to hand in my assignments before sitting for the exam BUT I can't possibly finish all on time. Luckily my HR lecturer allowed me to pass it up a week after the exam which is this monday. However however I still had an assignment to be handed up a day before last wed's exam.

Oh well, you can imagine, I only managed to complete my assignment two and a half hour before the submition time closes. And that left me with only the exam day to study. Basically, the paper was manageable BUT if only I had more time to do some serious studying...

Niwaes, last wednesday's exam was kinda funny. The exam was supposed to start at 7pm sharp but it was 7.35pm when I started. And it was only for me.
=.="

Well, the school was dumb di dumb. They printed one paper lesser and i just had to be the suay one. Unfortunately, I was left with nothing to do since all my stuffs were in my bag and it was placed somewhere else in the classroom. The only thing I could do was watch people. Seriously, such classic expressions all around the exam room.

My lecturer looked rather anxious because the school staffs were taking so long to print one dumb question paper. Actually, I didn't mind; I was enjoying the silence and expressions. Well, when my lecturer came into the room after talking to his colleague(my HR lecturer) about the problem, I looked at him expectantly and he signaled for me to wait, apologetically. So, I looked at my wristwatch to know the time but I guess he got the wrong message cause he signaled for me not to worry coz he will give me the same amount of time to do my exam.

Oh well, he then took his water bottle, uncap it and was about to drink when there was a loud B-U-R-P from the back of the class. It came from this black indian toad sitting at the back. My lecturer glared at him and rolled his eyes before drinking. Seriously, I was dying to burst out laughing but had to control myself coz everywhere around me people were doing their exam.

So that was wednesday's exam. Monday's exam was soooo the very kecoh. This time the exam room was way bigger than wed's and it consisted of many students from 3 different classes. Well, that was fine for me actually. BUT, it's the cheating part I hate.

I was seated in between two students and each doesn't come from the same class. 3 different classes maah; 3 different subject students sitting in one row. Funny how they did the exam. The girl on my right was checking her PDA for answers. Only God knows how come the 4 invigilators can't spot that. And the guy from my left took out a tiny paper he hid inside his shirt and started copying. And oh, when I said inside his shirt, I didn't mean pockets. The paper was inside the shirt he wore. The only thought that came to me when I saw what they were smartly doing was, "why didn't I think of that?"
...BECAUSE I'M VERY HONEST WUAAAAD!!!

And, sadly, honesty has its price to pay.

Almost everyone was cheating. Seriously, how many times within 2.5 hours do they need the toilet? FIVE???? I think they have some sort of infectious bladder disease or something. After one go another go. It was continuous ley. Oh well, everythings over now.

AND I'VE NEVER IN MY LIFE FELT THIS FREE BEFORE

...seriously.

Ya DA Ya DA Ya DA

2008-02-26T02:39:00.002+08:00

Ignore the post before this. I've deleted it.
I'm fine. Really.
Post exam stress perhaps hor.

Niwaes, I want to talk about 'tigers' since this topic rocked my class the other day and left the females super pouting(with the exception of me, of course!).

Tigers.... Ti Gers... Thai Gers... Thai GIRLS!!!

Oke, it's thai girls not 'tigers' but, oh well, people have dubbed them 'tigers'.

We were having a final revision class and, somehow, the male population in class started talking about 'tigers'. I can sense they're very excited about it. Let me repeat that they're really VERY EXCITED. VERY VERY VERY EXCITED. They even proceeded on to tell what the hell are 'tigers' to everyone in class including the lecturer.

They said 'tigers' have 3 meanings:

#1. Prostitutes
#2. Transvestites
#3. REAL thai girls

And so, this particular classmate was going on and on and on about how wonderful it is to be in Pattaya(thailand). About how there's many many nice nice pretty pretty woman there. About how he will suggest all man to go there to get AIDS. About how he doesn't want to go back home to his old saggy booby wife.

Oke fine, i cant help but add in about not wanting to come back. Anyhoots, the conver suddenly entered the transvestite part. AND, this is where the females get mad, THEY ALL AGREED THE TRANSVESTITES THERE ARE GORGEOUS!!! WAYYYYYYY MUCH MORE GORGEOUS THAN R-E-A-L WOMAN!!!!!!!

How can man-turned-into-woman be better than real woman?!?!?!?!

Oh well, they were saying these 'woman' have perfect figures, nice boobs, sleek fair skins and really really gorgeous features. WHATEVER!!! And Lily(starting to super pout) was countering with, "no matter what THEY'RE STILL MAN WHAT!!!"

Still, this guy keeps saying, "but then they're still really prettier than the average woman!"

Screw these kind of man with electric saws man!!!!

Then another old geezer persuaded us to google 'SRS' to find out more. Well, I didn't. I'm not interested to find out what tooot SRS is/are. Oh well, things were getting pretty heated when

"OK OK BACK TO HUMAN RESOURCE NOW."
... my lecturer cut short. But then...

"eh, you went thailand never bring back anything for us uh?"
... he asked.

That classmate went
:0
blanko. And then...

"WAH!!! YOU SO BAD AR!!! AT LEAST BRING BACK SOME SWEETS FOR US LAH!! TALK SO MUCH ABOUT THAILAND THEN NEVER BRING ANYTHING BACK FOR US!!!"
... my lecturer can get really whiny, u know.

Then that classmate was saying about how he NEVER brings back anything wherever he goes. About how he finds it troublesome and how it will only 0.00000000001% of the time cross his puny peanut brain. (all the while my lecturer was going on and on about how bad that classmate is.) And then,

"eh, my husband always bring back something for me every time he gets out stationed," Lily proudly declared. Everyone shut up for a moment. And then,

"Aiyaa, he must have done something wrong that's why lah. Man always like that what! They did something wrong out there and then buy you nice things to CLEAR HIS GUILT"
...my lecturer said.

And Lily was saying "NO" to this and that to defend her husband. Niwaes, the topic suddenly got back to thailand I dont know how it got back to thailand but it just got back.

The old geezer told us that thailand also have a place loaded with thai boys for woman. Pretty freakish these people hahs. Then, my lecturer just had to say, "normal what!! It's for the man to deposit their wives there before going to Pattaya to enjoy themselves!"

Walau, people these days really are crazy, aren't they?
Whatever it is, we managed to finish our revisions at the end of the day soooooooo that's all i'm going to blog for now.

Toodles peeps.

1st anniversary

2008-02-14T23:31:00.003+08:00

Hoookay, so i didnt get a bouquet of fake flowers nor teddy bears on Valentine's day. Instead, i got... real plants. A cactus and a purple-flower-plant-i-dunno-what's-its-name. Don't start on my bf. He wanted to get me something else but i insisted on a cactus. U might think i'm crazy but, hey, it's the cactus' sentimental values that i treasure.

You might be wondering, "what's so good about a plant that pricks and quite a sore to the eye?"

Well... i want cactus to resemble our LoVe. Cactus are strong plants. It need not be pampered to exist. It can defend itself readily. It lives long and strong. See, i want our LoVe to be something like that. No hustle. No bustle. Just easy and smooth living.

And the sore eye part... let's just say LoVe has its painful moments too. But the good points outshines the bad points and that's what matters most.

Anyhoots, PizzaHut was where we celebrated our 1st year anniversary. Food was fine and i enjoyed the criss-cross fries the most. We spent perhaps close to 2hrs there. The worst moment though, apart from me toppling my glass of water at PizzaHut(sibeh paiseh le), was after our feast. We could hardly stand up; our tummies were really stretched man!!!

Oh well, we ventured the night in town. And the cool night breeze was damn syiok, i tell u. Hahas...

Skyscrapers are works of wonder.

Night life at town is such a beautiful thing. Wondrous and amazing.

The day ended for us close to 11pm.
& my LoVe is still my LoVe.
God, bless us, look how far we've come.

Ps. Yes, 14th feb '07 was our first beginning.

S-Q-U-E-E-Z-E ME?! I meant excuse me.

2008-01-31T16:21:00.000+08:00

Love adorns itself;
it seeks to prove inward joy by outward beauty.

Love's gift cannot be given,
it waits to be accepted.

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.

Love
Is never wasted.
Love
Can never be wasted,
For love is Infinity's Life.

The other blog has the story.
Click Here

The Symptoms

2008-01-31T13:54:00.000+08:00

WARNING!!! BORING LONG POST AHEAD ABOUT NOTHING.

I'm showing you what's going to happen if you serve me horrible tasting foods...

Delicious, isn't it?
Definitely N-O!!!

Oh yes, those things surrounding the bowl are ice.
The drinks stall seller just LoVes to provide you with more than the necessary
amount of ice.
Therefore, it became a part of my decorations.

I'm telling you, those yucky ingredients that no one dares to eat goes into that bowl.
Seasoning sauces are also include.

I tried tasting it and i retched. It's simply deliciously horrendous tasting.
B-L-U-E-C-K-S-S-S
I swear I'm never stepping foot into that food court ever again if I can help it.
The cook should start attending cooking classes.
It seems like a 10 year old kid can cook better than them.
Hmm...

Oke oke, let's digress.

So, last week I spent each and everyday with my sweetheart.
Amazing isn't it?

Saturday, 26th January, we went to Bugis to get my diploma cert replicated and laminated.
Fucking expensive man!
Full colour photocopying costs a freaking $1.50.
And it's only one paper and one side.
Plus, the lamination costs $2.50 when I could have gotten it for $1.20.
Too bad the shop I always go to is GONE.
Why does it always seem that the high-quality-low-cost shops never survive?
Very the sian leh.

After that we walked to Suntec. Funny how 99.9% we definitely will end up there at least once a week. I think the people working in the vicinity would've recognize us by now. Oh well, we had a lot of fun there. And, of course, it's always toys 'r' us that we crash.

He's having too much fun with that dumb baby toy to notice me snapping
=)

I swear these kind of dolls are damn irritating. Not only is it UGLY, they make shitass a lot of noise. I can go crazy just listening to them whining.

That tiny bicycle almost got flatten by my ass.

Oh well, we reached my house around 9pm... or is it 10pm?
Hahas, I can't remember.
Angin was given his feeding and he's trying to be cute.

Now now, Angin's trying to appear uninterested by the sofa.
Shh... but we know better.

There, he's definitely aiming for that space between me and sweetheart.
I don't need another picture showing him on the sofa pawing my butt.
This cat is getting fatter by the day and I'm trying to put him on a diet...
Which will never happen in a million years because other people in my neighbourhood just LoVes to feed him a lot.

Nyah, sweetheart went home close to 11pm.
I was sure we wont be having another outing the next day but I was wrong.

Sunday, 27th January, the bf call around 2pm saying he managed to get hold of the car key and cant wait to go for a spin. Hmm... and I can't possibly turn down an euphoric sweetheart. So here we go again.

The initial plan was to hit East Coast McCafe and spend time studying together but the car park was jam pack so we headed to Parkway Parade instead. Hahs, nothing special there and it was quite crowded so after about 2 hours there we headed back to Pasir Ris.

We reached around 6pm. Parked the car back at his house and was heading for WhiteSands when my brother called saying my family was going for dinner and asked if we wanted to come along. The bf was in for it even before I asked so, yeah, we walked back to his house and drove off to meet my family for dinner.

Twilight was gorgeous.
Trust me, I snapped tons of pictures while sweetheart drove.
And the journey back after dinner was fun.
Sweetheart drove right behind dad's car and I can't help but keep snapping the back of the car.

Oh yes, that's my family's car right in front of us.

Now, some of you might be asking how come the car is dark coloured when it used to be somewhat light golden. Well, dad bought a new car last December after my brother involved the BMW in an accident and made it destined for the scrap yard.
=.="

BooCHIAK! Another day's outing ended yet again close to 11pm for the bf.
I wonder sometimes, doesn't he ever get tired to have to end his day late and start it early?
Oh well, I guess he must be so ga-ga in LoVe. Hahas.
But I appreciate it much hor.

I bet you peeps must be getting tired of my long post.
But spare me, I'm going on.

Monday, 28th January, sweetheart came to my house at 4pm.
This time we went to Bugis. Again, I know.
And it's because I have some things to settle with my alma mater.
We took bus 12 and sat for more than an hour.
I spotted something for cuppy cake.

Told you there's a lane named for you. Special kan? Hahas...

Oh well, all was settled by 6pm and we were starving.
Food places at Bugis were packed as always.
Soooo... we crashed Suntec. Yes, again.
KFC it is this time for dinner.

I'm telling you, he's playing hide-and-seek with my camera phone.

Dinner there was fine except for the fact that there were some insolent blacky indian boys. Damn rude. They were spitting into the basin which is provided for customers to wash their hands. Really, they made the spitting sounds loud. And I was eating. I swear I was about to stuff them in my mother's bleach bucket that is use for us to dunk our toilet slippers in for cleaning. Anyhoots, we headed home after dinner.

Gummies. I was craving for them and I got them. Sweetheart keeps giving in to my never ending cravings. Amazing lah.

Mercy for you peeps at last!
I'm done.

TATAZ!!! I'm off to school again.
=)

WORLD'S RUDEST PEOPLE ALIVE!!!

2008-01-28T14:48:00.000+08:00

I swear upon my disgusting-skunky-shit-face neighbour's life that singaporeans are perhaps the rudest shitass ever available on earth's face... well, perhaps with the exception of me and you though.
=)

It's usually the females who are the rudest. They strut along with their elephant-sized Louise Vuitton bags and simply bang you with it when in a fucked up rush. And not even a single word of 'sorry'?!?!?! But the worst is when these bimbos give you that filthy look just because they bumped into you.

I mean what fuck man! You bump into me, no apologies, and give me that friggin look?!!!! Like HELL-ooooooooo who bumped into who here? Why shit, I feel like walloping their retarded fugly faces with their dumb bags.

Well, I think I know their problem...

They're in a rush.
They see that gap between you and the wall.
They think they can squeeze through without banging into anything.
but LO AND BEHOLD
they forgot their $$$ enormous gigantic bigfoot sized Louise Vuitton they're carrying and, well, I think you know what happens next.

F-U-C-K if you cant estimate the size of a gap when you're carrying something big, then jolly well DO NOT carry anything big with you. Just stuff your handphone and wallet inside that pocket located somewhere near your stinky arse. It''ll help a lot... especially when no one needs to have their happy day spoilt by your ugliness.

And when you're carrying a big expensive LV bag when these kind of accidents happen just because you're dumber than a kindergarten kid who don't know how to count, it only reflects on how desperate, ugly, rude and poor you are. Well, you might want to portray that you're rich and therefore able to purchase an expensive LV bag when you carry them along but your actions sing a different story.

Your actions portray that you're always in the rush to earn extra $$$ because you're a bimbo who cant afford anything expensive but just cant resist the devil inside of you who urges you to spend on stupid things. It shows how desperate you are for money. Well, it is true you know. Have you ever seen a rich woman banging along because they're always in a rush? No, right? They always seem serene and calm. There's never a need for them to rush for anything dumb like extra $$$. And if they ever bump into you, they'll be gracious and apologise for their actions.

So now you people know. Most of these kinds of desperate people are just poor and rude. They are the reason why Singaporeans were ranked somewhere on the top for world's rudest people. No, this is no joke. I read it somewhere in a magazine about it. Desperate singaporeans are rude shits. Whatever!!!

Holla!!!

2008-01-24T15:43:00.000+08:00

A big hello to the remaining readers who are still faithfully reading this petite space of mine.

Amazingly, now is the 24th January 2008. 14 days since I've last blogged. I know this space is rotting like a stinky piggy poop but I cant find the perfect time to blog without being disrupted. Annoying lah! being interrupted while blogging so I've put off the whole idea of it till now.

But the past 14 days had been great fun for me.

Let's see... its mainly because of the new things in my boring life...

Like getting to cruise in the car together with sweetheart. Such wonderful experience but, oh, sweetheart needs to mind the curbs =)

And FINALLY, dad gave in and bought me the loVe...

Sony Ericsson k810i!!! Cybershot phone!!! I'm totally in loVe with it. The entire front of k810i is made of glossy plastic and so, it looks kind of glassy and reflective. Dad suggested for me to get k850i but, well, its design just doesn't appeal to me.

I know it's 5 mega pixel and my k810i is just 3.2 mega pixel but it's the design that i fall for!!! Who cares if k850i is the latest model?!!! k810i is still the loVe to me. Initially, I wanted to get the Nokia 5610 Xpressmusic but people advices against it because there's lots and lots of complains about Nokia phones currently.

So now sis and me have the same handphone
=.=" I know.
Mine is noble blue(left) and sis' is golden ivory(right).
I was thinking of grabbing the pulse red colour but I realize noble blue is much classy looking than the toy-like pulse red one.

Oh well, I'm happy with everything currently. Brilliant isn't it? To have a blog that's rotting like a pile of stinky piggy poop but an actual life that's shining like a gorgeous k810i. Hahas... okok, I know I'm so into this gadget.

On another note, Goodluck to all my darlings who are receiving their loVely 'O' levels results today. All the best aites.

Fantabulous, now is 4.46pm. School's at 7pm. I'm off to get ready for it. 1hr15mins to reach there hor. Isn't it better if my lecturer hadn't changed friday classes to thursday? Whatever! At the least, sweetheart and my family is going to fetch me and have dinner after class tonight... something loVely to look forward to again =)

ATTENTION

My room phone has been replaced with darling k810i.
The phone has been shifted to my parents' room.
So..., dont call that number unless you're up for an
interesting chat with my sweet mom.
I'll inform you gorgeous people of my new number aites.

T.O.O.D.L.E.S

LoVe Wise

2008-01-10T15:51:00.000+08:00

CONGRATS BOO!!!
... for being a licensed car driver.

Oke, I'm definitely in an euphoric state.
The BF getting his license means saving more on my e-z link card in months and years to come. And unequivocally means lesser traveling time. Cheers!!!

Now I can't wait to get mine. Once I'm done with my bachelor degree perhaps. That'll be in a loooooong looooooong looooooong 19 months time. WAH DOOOOOOOOH!!!

Anyhoots, drive safely Boo. Whatever you do, don't drive like my toooting brother hor.

Readers!!! Stay tune to the space below this post. Draft posts will be up when it's ready. Wakaka!!!

Caught On

2007-12-17T15:47:00.000+08:00

Dear You,

It's been long, hasn't it? I wonder if you've worked out why this is happening between us. Have you thought deep enough? Or do you need me to point it all out for you instead? Perhaps you do, considering the fact that you feel "disappointed" in me when it's supposed to be vice versa.

Dear You, where should I begin? You know I'm not good with putting things into words when it's all messed up in my head.

Honestly, I never wanted this to happen. We were great then. There was no such thing as "secret" between us. Yeah, we shared everything between each other. Everything was warm and nice. But, alas, newcomers in our lives as well as the start of tough schooling for me...

I know it's hard to adapt to the abrupt changes in our lifestyles. I needed time. And, no, I wasn't pushing you away or, in any ways, wanted you out of my life. I had to be fair to everyone; i can't possibly be one-sided. No one's gonna like it that way. I mean, there's only 24hrs in a day; it's quite tough trying to juggle school and people. Not forgetting, I can't afford overshooting my bill and risk losing my phone. The best is to divide the talk time by two. Unless, of course, you can suggest a better solution...

I bet you have no idea how stressful it was. 3 years of studies crashed into 10 months... assignments requiring tons of research and a minimum of thousands of words... it's almost like going through training after joining the workforce... These took up most of our outing time. Most of the time I'll be at the library till night. And you made it clear that in no ways are you going to just sit and stare while I do my stuffs. But you must remember that other people are willing to do so. It made me look one-sided though, didn't it? But tell me, whose fault was it? If you want to know, I left it as no one's.

But I guess you took it wrongly and shifted further away from me and closer to them. And you started to scrutinize and criticize my flaws. It wasn't nice, you know. Rather hurtful... especially when you compare me to them. No, you don't need to say it openly for me to know you're comparing. It's rather obvious. Even five minutes is a big deal now, right? But of course, they're never late.

You feel better with them most of the time, don't you? I mean, we're not in the same school and so we don't have much in common to talk about as you have with them. Often, this leads to boring silence. And, oh, I wasn't trying to keep anything "private"; I just thought repeating the usuals are boring for you to hear. Indeed, my life isn't as interesting as those typical teens who are often armed with latest gossips to spread amongst themselves.

I'm fine with whom you want to be friends with. I'm fine with whatever you want to do with your life. I'm fine with everything. Really.

Contradicting a lil, what's up with the attitude? Trying to point out changes in me, have you noticed how much you've changed yourself? Your false and fast accusations. Your harsher way of speaking. Your hurtful words. Your limited thoughtfulness.

Dear You, if it's the one thing I loathe the most, it's being mistrust. You might had have only intended for it to be a joke but I do expect a degree of limitation as well. And please don't pick words that was left by some ass on my tag board and throw them at me like you understand why it was left there in the first place. It's like you're fraternizing with a brainless git. "Bitch" I ask you? When have you ever used that on me? I know a smile was still plastered on my face, but if you've been sensitive enough, and not trying to lash out your anger, you would've at least realized that my eyes went cold. And choosing to deny the truth and taunt me 'LIAR!'?

You, it definitely causes much Much MORE pain when a friend hurts you rather when an unknown entity does so. The impact is greater and the time needed for healing is longer (which explains this long silence). But I'm afraid that a scar will always remain.

You used every means to get me to talk to you. And you sent our wise old friend to talk me round. But do you know what our dear friend blurt out while trying to do so?

"You can't expect to hurt a friend and expect her to come back to you!"

Yes, that was the sentence said. The only thought I had when that was said was... Did our friend say that to you in the first place? And you know what I realized? I realized you haven't thought deep enough why this is happening. I realized you think I've forgotten you. I realized you feel I'm ignoring you for no reasons. But BUT, that tiny little voice inside me told me that I might be wrong. It told me that you might have realized you must've done something wrong but unsure what it is. Well, I hope this long post dedicated to you helps.

I'm sorry if I've hurt you by retreating quietly like this. I know it hurts a lot. At least you still have many friends surrounding you to help you through. But you, try to think how it's been for me when I'm hurt. I have no constant supporters. My friends at school are the touch-and-go type now since they're not even in my age range. I'm alone in this. ALONE.

But thank God I have a very understanding BF who tries his very best to cheer me even when he's very busy with his own agenda. Sometimes, I feel God sent him to me cause He knows this was going to happen now. Maybe it was His only way in keeping me sane.

And you, I don't change. I'm not the type who like changes. I change when I'm hurt; It's the only way I protect myself. Maybe you would want to think that I hadn't been able to crack jokes and laugh a lot because I have much on my plate to worry about... unlike you.

Enough said. It's time for you to do a self-check. Take Care, You.

Sincerely,
ilma

(Updated, thursday, 10 January 08)

Reading myself, I feel there's still enough time to salvage what is left.
You, maybe I'm beginning to forgive and forget.

I'M BACK!!!

Like FINALLY I've got my retarded CPU replaced. The old one's gone cuckoo after getting kicked by me a million times a day for being a stubborn and lazy ARSEHOLE.

Oh well, I had a talk with dear old mom about celebrities. About how they always seems loads better looking than the average person. Momma said all of those are bullshits. She said it's all the work of make-ups. And so, yours truly did a little research to satisfy her endless curiousity. What I found is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G lah...

O-M-GEE!!! I've always thought Avril is good looking without make-ups. She looks so pale and, well, abit boring... like plain yeast.

Another plain yeast here. Oke, I shan't be so nasty to this momma. She's old after all. Hmm, but she seems as though she's recovering from a flu or something. Definitely average looking.

This is scary. E! declared no one can say 'No' to Drew Barrymore because she's pretty. I declare no one can say 'No' because they've ran far far away even before she can ask for a favour. She looks like an 18th century ghost! This must be a joke! But, food wise, she looks like sour cheese cake.

I've nothing to say. Being a royal bitch catches up with ya. Diana Ross is a veritable Halloween hag when she goes without makeup. Don't stare too long!

Hahas, that's all for now peeps.

Much loVe from me, myself, & i; ilma.

that april post

2007-11-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, i wonder how an alarming number of people can actually get stumped by a question. An averse question to be more specific. Is it because they are mentally brought up to be stereotype individuals who find being typical normal? Its odd, you know, to find someone gawking at you for asking a simple averse question such as "what can't I do?" in lieu of "what can I do?" This action of taking up a long while to register an averse question before managing to respond really pisses me. I must confess I dislike stereotype/typical kind of people. Nothing against them, really. Its just that I find being stereotype/typical curtails efficiency. And this is not a good start when you're trying to achieve something new and differentiated.

Oh well, that is just one issue I'm facing. Next issue is when I get misunderstood for trying to project an innocent first impression and then marring it. I must say that I have never done such a pretense to

Yes, it was left hanging as that. Pity I decided then to stop the post and kept it as a draft. Howell, I can't seem to remember what the fuck my problem was all about. HAHAS!!! But seriously, stereotypes are BORING.

But but, it can get really fun if you start interpreting them. I mean, they're just too bloody common that you can actually tell their next move. You don't need to be a great genius in psychology or psychiatric studies to read people. I say its talent and/or the willingness to understand the pattern in human behaviours. Its like being psychic when that poor stereotype shit is left confused and awed. Nice, right? Soooo people, beware! I might be testing this out on you.

Oke fine, i sound so hao lian. Boo!!!

My last words for now, "You can never understand me until you truly understand how to think in an inverse logic method."

Specially for Dearest Nanaz

2007-10-31T16:33:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUN!!!!

It's Halloween and it's your birthday.
No wonder you're so much like a witch.
Well, actually, I have a rather huge feeling that you really are one...
I mean, your uniquely high pitch voice and laughter extraordinarily suits one.
Ya ya, like those in HARRY POTTER *ahem ahem*

Hahas, oke, i can imagine your -.-" face when you read this.
Don't we both just make the most irritating and highly annoying pair in the world?
BOO!!!

On another note Mrs Potter,
All the best in everything you do aites.
You're very much missed by me.

Listen listen peeps

2007-10-29T14:37:00.000+08:00

The year is almost coming to an end.While some of us have already achieved what we had set at the beginning of the year, there are others who are still struggling and maybe on the verge of giving up hope that the following year will be better. But i will say that since the year has yet to end, why not give it your final shot; you never know when you may just make it and hit the bull's eyes. Here is a story of Rose who would show us time is not a factor if you are determined to achieve your goals. (Story was adapted from a newsletter told by the general manager of the Neways company).

The first day of classes our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi, my name is Rose. I'm eighty seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course, you can!" and she gave me a giant squeeze "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?", I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious as to what may have motivated her to be taking this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" She told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet and I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she accidentally dropped her three by five cards onto the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said "I'm sorry. I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success."

"You have to laugh and find humor every day."

"You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!"

"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn older and become twenty years old. If I'm eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity to change."

"Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for the things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

Finally, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation, Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute tot he wonderful woman who taught by example that IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.

THE ROSE
Some say love, it is a river,
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor,
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
An endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
And you, it's soul the seed.

It's a heart afraid of breaking,
That never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dying,
That never learns to live.

When the night has been too lonely,
And the road been to long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong:
Just remember, in the winter,
Far beneath the bitter snows,
Lies the seed, that with the sun's love
In the Spring, becomes the rose.

I find the story really interesting, don't you? Niwaes, my fingers are tired from typing all that out continuously. Hahas... and Halloween is approaching, I see that someone's turning 16 soon...

no-thing

2007-09-24T16:41:00.000+08:00

basically, i'm bored and annoyed with blogger.
mainly because it was such a bitch for the past few days.
like wtf(!!!) i get kicked out every fucktooot time i signed in.
B.I.T.C.H A.S.S
i had to reset all my personal infos before i can be signed in.
oke fine, i know i sounded cranky, but the fact is, i AM cranky.
im as cranky as a century old nasty rude grandmama... WOW ehk?

maybe i should leave out all those profanities for once, dont u think?
well, i wanted to, but im mad, so can i?
dont blame me, blame blogger.

lets move on...

& so, i spent my past week blog-hopping and i chanced upon this doodles from my friend's blogspot. its kinda true so i've decided to publish it here for my peeps to read. copyrighted by her, mind u...

1. NEVER choose relationship over friendship which you have built for many many years. your bestfriends might get hurt.
2. NEVER have flings if you don't want your boyfriend to do likewise. afterall, it's karma that matters.
3. Just be yourself and never try too hard to keep your relationship going. if you have tried but it turns out to be more rocky, say, so what? just call it an end.
4. Jealousy and insecurity are not everything that keeps your relationship afloat. afterall, what's relationship without trust? i suggest you work on that weak foundation to your relationship.
5. Short term relationship is utterly useless. Look for someone who will be committed enough to the relationship. isn't that the best way to prevent undesirable heartaches?
6. Forget your useless and unappreciative ex. because all he ever does is Lie Lie and tell more Lies.

...words that came from experience i must say.
experiences makes a person grow wiser, its true.
so people, get out, and get some experience.
dont just sit there and munch your precious time away.
being a potato couch sucks BIG time.

hahas, oke, i'm done for now.
toodles peeps....

THE "YO-YO"s

2007-09-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

two LARGEmats and one MINImat

Infestation of the "YO-YO"s at Marine Parade

What else could possibly turn an area cheaper faster than that?

tsk. tsk. tsk. i smell a skunk...

dancing gracefully across my memories

2007-08-12T00:55:00.000+08:00

"Dancing bears,
Painted wings,
Things I almost remember,
And a song someone sings,
Once upon a December..."

Somehow, the lyrics above triggers something in my memories. Or perhaps I should say the entire song makes me remember alot from my childhood memories. This song I've plugged into my blog. This song from the Disney movie "Anastasia". This old song sang by the late Aaliyah. Nice....

Maybe i remember my childish times because this song was used in "Anastasia". I mean.... Anastasia, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty... they all belong to the fairytales sort of things. And which little kid has never been told over and over and over again about these stories? But Anastasia was a true story unlike the others. And that's why its more meaningful.... i think. hahas, that was just to my opinion. Fairy Tales are kinda cheesy now that I'm much older. But... which little girl doesn't loVe her little princesses tales? & there's still a little girl in me...

Oke, forget it, I don't think its necessary to elaborate about it.

& it is about time i come up with a real proper post, right?

Anyway, my birthday period went pretty well despite the ugly turn of events. And lots of gratitue to those who wished me those loVely b'day wishes. Much appreciated. LoVes from me, myself, and i; ilma.

You, yes, you. Thanks for staying awake just to wish me happy b'day right at my time of birth. That was loVe.
*winks*

if ever

2007-08-02T01:12:00.000+08:00

if ever i disappear, don't worry, u know i'll be back

if ever i cry, don't worry, u know there's nothing u can do.

if ever i give up, don't worry, u know i'm sensible enough to not really give up.

if ever i'm lost, don't worry, u know i'll find the right path again.

& i realize i haven't paid my dues. maybe its time i focus on them. i might be out of touch for quite a while but don't bother. nothing's going to change. everyday is the same.

i just want to scream and lose control

2007-07-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

Cramps are like crocodiles that bite.
Two words: They Sucks.

And i'm doing a real changing of perspectives here. Not just that, i'm trying to do better things. And i mean REAL experimenting. And that means many many trial and errors.

=P

ilma semangat skejap je... cam bapak dier jugak...

if life is so short

2007-07-28T21:59:00.000+08:00

&& i caught the fireworks unexpectedly.
Its awesome... though the patterns are mostly identical, its still brilliant.
Maybe its becoz fireworks are such rare things in Singapore.

& my birthday is 12 days away.
Wish me the best aites.
This girl is turning 16...

I will take it as a blessing to still be alive; its a good thing.
But life is so short. i've yet to enjoy being 15.
God! time passes so fast.

& mom claims that once you've hit your 21st b'day, you will notice time passes doubly fast... and before you know it, you're old.... just waiting to die and rot with the worms.
EEeeWWww

oke fine, i'm being negative.

Ilma, SHUT UP!!!

once was a dream

2007-07-28T01:00:00.000+08:00

SNAP. oke fine. its been a week and there was still no updates. i know u peeps really REALLY feel like bashing me with frying pans and i know i damnit deserves it buuuuuuut guess what?! U CAN'T. hahas, so i suggest u cuties just forget about it. hee...

basically, there's not much of happenings in my life. and yes, maybe now u are starting to realise how boring this girl's life really is. oh well... the past week was spent school shopping. i guess i took it for granted that finding the perfect school offering my best interest is rarely available. & i don't want an extended holiday period. staying home isn't fun at all when u are destined to be mom's maid. or perhaps i should say... dhobby? the amount of laundry done in this house can beat those at the laundry shops i bet. & its VERY tiring... especially when your mom keeps asking u to do it almost every 2hrs.

=.="

The result for my project module is going to be released next week. i really hope to get a blessed HD. i really need it!!! keep your fingers crossed okies.

& i must mention that Asia Pacific Management Institute Kaplan isn't as grand as it appears to be. In fact, the environment there is so rushy. everyone is rushing. and the students are almost 80% foreigners. worst, most looks like they come from China. Nothing against them, really, just that the way they dress looks so funny and inappropriate. I mean... just look at that hair!!! she looks like she'd just gotten electrocuted!!!. And what's up with the high soccer stockings? Singapore is a tropical country which means its HOT. And my theory is...

hot HOT hot = sweat SWEAT sweat = STINKY SWEATY FEET = BiG EeWW

oke oke, i don't wish to continue criticizing APMI. more like i don't want to get sue-ed for defamation. Boo! Guess that's all for today. Stay tuned peeps; i'll be back. its not over yet... this is going to be a looong weekend.

T.a.T.a.Zzz

don't turn around. don't even say goodbye

2007-07-19T02:04:00.000+08:00

sick.SICK.sick

i'm il and i'm ill.

updates will be up when i'm il but not ill.

SORRY HOR(!!!)

back to back

2007-07-12T13:14:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL IS OVER FOR ME!!!! SCHOOL IS OVER!!!

Can u actually believe it? I mean... school is over... that can't possibly be true, right?
Hahas, IT IS TRUE!!!!

O........K....... pardon my hyper reaction. I'm just too happy to have back my solid free time. Now i can enjoy life to the fullest since i've lived through the harsh pressuring times and appreciate what free time really is. Damn! i can't stop planning 101 things to do before i start school again in maybe two to three months.

& yes, diploma is completed.
I wonder when is graduation...

time doesn't matter... but it does

2007-07-05T10:51:00.000+08:00

soooooo... its been almost three weeks (or issit two weeks?) since i last updated, right? i know i know, i'm guilty for letting this space rot. i'm sorry, but school is stealing away all my solid free time. I'm on my last module now and next week will be my presentation AND i've not even started doing the slideshows. chey... ilma ~~relax~~ ajer.. NOT(!!!).

i can't start on my slideshow yet becoz there's tons of things to be added on to my report first. but hey, i've wrote close to FOUR THOUSAND WORDS (excluding diagrams, content page and cover page) and my lecturer still says its "so brief". so yah, i'm going to make my report filled with a minimum of ten thousand words. this is crazy!!! but who cares, right?

i guess that's all i've got for updates till now. from now till the end of next week, i won't be free for this cyber world. but after that, i'll be updating more frequently as school will finally be OVER... and its for real this time(!!!).

T O O D L E S

pss... did i told cha that i managed to pass all my exams? its a miracle ya know...

=D

12:17am on a Saturday Morn

2007-06-16T00:19:00.000+08:00

You Are 56% Burned Out

You're fairly burned out, and it shows.
You probably have been feeling a little rundown and irritable lately.
If you can, drop a few of your minor responsibilities and focus on what's really important.
You have too much on your plate, and it's catching up with you.

Are You Burned Out?

Your Depression Level: 88%

You seem to be severely depressed.
You should seek immediate attention from your physician.
Depression can be cured - you just need to take the first step.

Are You Depressed?

There's a 61% Chance That You Need Therapy

You almost certainly need therapy. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Lately life has not been easy for you. Why not let a therapist help you sort things out?

Do You Need Therapy?

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...
And when you're down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

You Are 70% Borderline

Many signs point toward you having a borderline personality.
It's probably a good idea to seek therapy. Or at least read a self help book.

Do You Have a Borderline Personality?

You Are 48% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Your Wrath Quotient: 54%

Ouch! You've got a bit of a temper going on there, don't you?
Just make sure to keep your revenge fantasies just that... fantasies only!

How Much Wrath Do You Have?

You Are 52% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

You Aren't Cutthroat

You definitely have ambitions and drive, but you also have integrity.
You'll get where you want to in life, and you'll do it the right way.
For you, the ends never justify the means.

Are You Cutthroat?

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESTJ)

Your personality type is serious, fair, independent, and competent.

Only about 9% of all people have your personality, including 7% of all women and 11% of all men
You are Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others.
Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.
You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.
A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.

You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Are 43% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy.
You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends...
But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

How Open Are You?

You Are Fairly Skeptical

You're not the type of person who will fall for anything...
But you do keep your mind open to all sorts of possibilities.
You figure that anything could be true. After all, the world is a strange place.
However, you're going to need some convincing before you can believe in aliens or reincarnation!

How Skeptical Are You?

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant.
People feel like they really don't know the true you...
Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force.

Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself.
It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose.
You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

You Are 49% Bitchy

Generally, you're an average woman, with average moods. But sometimes... well, watch out!
Sometimes, you let your mean side get the better of you. And you enjoy every minute of it.

How Bitchy Are You?

You Are 66% Real

You know who you are, and you're pretty darn comfortable with yourself.
Like everyone, you struggle with the parts of yourself that aren't so great...
But you're good at accepting who you are and not dwelling on your faults.
As a result, you're confident, optimistic, and very real.

How Real Are You?

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.

Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.

With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

You Are The High Priestess

You represent mystery - secrets that are yet to be revealed.
You find yourself sitting between two worlds: one dark, one light.
You tend to hold these two worlds in balance, reconciling the two.
Open and welcoming, you invite others to learn your secrets.

Your fortune:

Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward.
You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination.
And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end.
You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open!

What Tarot Card Are You?

Your Love Is Represented By a Pink Rose

You see love as something that should be light, fun, and whimsical.
People fall in love with you easily. And you tend to fall out of love easily!
You express your love through attention and shared experiences. You love people more than they realize.

What Rose Represents Your Love?

***

Basically, that was how bored i was at 12:17am.
Now, at 2:39am, after doing almost 50 tests, i'm feeling cross-eyed.

And what's wrong with the test results above?
They seem somewhat odd to me.
But somehow, they ARE kinda accurate.
How funny...

And yeah, saved drafts will be posted soon enough... before you peeps start chasing me with frying pans.

Cheers!!!

Goodnight... ,or rather, Goodmorning.

never mind the aggravation

2007-06-09T14:44:00.000+08:00

"The release of endorphins is triggered by the consumption of chocolate. Endorphins are classified as one of the opiate peptides, that are responsible for the "high" produced by opiates, heroin and strenuous exercise. All of these stimulants increase the activity of neurotransmitters in the part of our brain that control our ability to pay attention and stay alert."

Well.... you people know i have a concentration span of seven minutes before my mind starts wandering off to otther unrelated stuffs. Does that mean i should eat more chocolates when i need concentration? Hoho, i was having fun stuffing myself with chocs just a few seconds ago and now i'm wiping my hands on my shirt. Mom is so gonna scream when she sees the art. hahs.

The past week was the start of a new term. My final term to be exact. Just five more weeks of diploma life left. Hehs, the phase is getting more hectic. Final presentation on July the tenth. Sheesh... I'm so nervous man!!! How do you expect me to stand infront of everyone and present for HALF AND HOUR ALONE?!!! And and four weeks isn't enough for me to memorise the structure and techniques used for bonds. Maybe i should define 'bond' for you... " In finance, a bond is a debt security, in which the authorized issuer owes the holders a debt and is obliged to repay the principal and interest (the coupon) at a later date, termed maturity." Hmm...

But its the presentation i'm still freakingly worried about. Howell, i have chocs to stop me from suffering a nervous breakdown... i guess.

Bam Bam Bam

2007-05-31T22:14:00.000+08:00

I focused on these...

... and a pimple appears on my face.

Bottomline, never focus on many many numbers... especially when u have to calculate each and every box of it manually. Like how i did for each and every box/cell u see above. & yes, that's my darling assignment. Don't be shocked; that's only 1/23 of it

;)

Disclaimer: This calculations are for information purposes only, and should not be considered a solicitation to buy or sell any security.

listening to the silent notes

2007-05-31T18:04:00.000+08:00

& so i told u that life was "more than a bitch to me" a few days back. It turned out that when i expected that to be the worst of it, it turned unexpectedly horrible. And i mean very horribly terrible. Maybe its because i cursed life that it turn out that way. sheesh. Allow me to rant on... i really need this escape.

As written in my earlier post, i haven't been sleeping and resting well. Had tons and tons of work to do for my assignment. U might claim that its only a piece of assignment. Well yeah... its just a dumb assignment that rob me of my life!!! Maybe i should explain more. U see... my freaking-assignment-that-is-my-only-hope-to-scrap-a-pass-now-with is something so everchanging due to the volatile market and stupid interest rates and risk-free rates... as well as my groupmates. I've been re-doing it times and times again just to be updated with what's going on. The most irritating part is that i have TWO of them. One to be done individually and another in a group of three. & so, i haven't been sleeping properly since wednesday(23rd May). All i had was a cat nap in the night. Days were spent burning holes on my chair facing this computer screen doing my assignment. When i completed my individual assignment and submitted it to my lecturer through e-mail last saturday, i felt so relieved coz i've finished what i have to do... and yes, that means the group assignment as well because i've done more than just my part. That was when i posted in my blog (it was 12.30am on a sunday morning but i considered it a saturday coz i haven't slpt yet). Niwaes, little did i expect that i have to do the final report as well becoz my groupmate claims she can't do it as she had to accompany mom in the hospital. THAT WAS BLOODY UNFAIR!!! Well, i'm not trying to say that i didn't understand what she's going through but heck!!! She should have done it earlier BEFORE her mom falls sick!!! I've planned everything so perfectly. I've planned to be done with dumb assignments before sunday becoz its plain that MY EXAM IS ON MONDAY AND I NEED TIME TO STUDY FOR IT DAMNIT!!!

But no. I spent Sunday burning another hole on my ever-so-burnt chair just hoping that it'll be done soon so i can at least have a little sunday to study. BUT NO. I finished the assignment at 8.30am on a FREAKING MONDAY MORNING WHEN I HAVE EXAM IN LESS THAN ELEVEN HOURS TIME. Yet again, u can say that eleven bloody hours is enough to study. HELL NO. When u have to sleep and spend one and a half hours on the trip to school. & i gave up trying to sleep becoz some people just couldn't cooperate and allow me to sleep peacefully. In fact, i didn't even get the slightest of sleep. And i was fucking grouchy because my senses are feeling so fucked up and my head feels like its better if i smash it somewhere.

Whatever it is, get this straight: I GAVE UP ON THE PAPER. Yeah... i just gave up on it when the answers wouldn't come and left the examination room. Spent so much time in the lonely toilet because i felt so wrong. Its so sad when u expect that everything is going to be fine and it turns the other way round. Twas, what a sad ending for the monday paper. But at least i know i can pass the paper. I even hoped that i could clear wednesday's paper easily. BUT NEVER HOPE. because i fell bloody sick with and effing fever and a very painful headache on tuesday. Stupid stupid stupid!!! Stupid fever!!! I haven't even fully recovered when i sat for wednesday's paper. And i didn't get to revise for it. Well... before the paper i thought its going to be easy because my lecturer swore that the formulas are given... BUT NO. NEVER NEVER NEVER TRUST YOUR ARSEHOLE OF A LECTURER BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S YOUR LECTURER BECAUSE HE KNOWS MORE ON THE TOPIC THAN U DO. He did give the formulas. Its written very very big on the paper. Now u might be wondering why i'm complaining when my lecturer did give the formulas. Well, it easy. Many things in this world have twins. Many things in this world can have the same meaning but described differently. Same here. He wrote the formulas in a different manner that i've never come across before. Its so fucking confusing. And my head throbbed like hell because i had to think so hard and yet nothing comes out of it. Twas, i didn't finish the paper and was still writing when the invigilator said 'STOP!' He even had to come right infront of me just to stop me from writing. Dumb ass.

The exams came as a shock to me and so my fever came back again. sheesh.

And now i'm still trembling from it.

But i'm not going to let it get to me.

I'm going to spend today celebrating dad's birthday.

=)

HAPPY 51st BIRTHDAY DAD

"life gets better if u take what comes"

with the fuck up my hair;

2007-05-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

its amazing how the loVes hasn't even changed abit. ok fine, physical appearance may be a total diff but the feelings are still sincere. maybe there is still hope that certain things/feelings will never change in my life. & i like it when we just click together and forgave without hesitance.

*****

life was certainly more than just a bitch to me the past few weeks. there's assignments and exams and stress and freaking everyday shits to deal with. & ilma is panda now. & i'm terribly sorry for ignoring my blog. I know how irritating it is to enter a page and see the same words over and over again. i'll try to update more often after my upcoming exams aites.

Speaking of exams, damn! tomorrow is my first paper and wed is the 2nd!!! i have only one day to study for each topic. sheesh. how i wish i can stop the time so i can have more time to understand the facts. lucky i'm only left with one more assignment to deal with. Gosh! am i stressed. & when i'm stressed, i tend to get hungry and crave for certain very fattening foods. No good, no good.

Ok ok, that's not the point of me blogging today; all i'm trying to convey is... i'm sleepy.

=.="

No. That's not the point of me posting today either and i didn't mean to type that but suddenly i feel so darn tired. Oh well, its not a sin to keep you peeps suspended on what i'm going to post next, so err... yup, i'm going to prioritize my long dued rightful rest that i've been craving since aeons ago for now.

Stay tuned for updates... which will probably only be up after this coming wednesday. Cheers!!!
hahas~

Ps. Oh wait, did i spell the fourth day of the week correctly? it looks weird... is it me or is it for real? whatever!!! i'm not making any sense at the moment. blame it on my lack of rest time.

=)

doesn't matter

2007-05-19T02:56:00.000+08:00

I’ve learnt -
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learnt -
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learnt -
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learnt -
that you cannot make someone loVe you. All you can do is be someone who can be loVed. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learnt -
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care.

I’ve learnt -
that you should always leave loVed ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learnt -
that either you control your attitude, or it controls you.

I’ve learnt -
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learnt -
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learnt -
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learnt -
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learnt -
that sometimes when I’m angry, I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learnt -
that just because someone doesn’t loVe you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t loVe you with all they have.

I’ve learnt -
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you've learnt from them less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learnt -
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learnt -
that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learnt -
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

How true they are... yet, there's still more to be learnt in this short life. Isn't life just so amazing?

taste of bullshit

2007-05-03T01:14:00.000+08:00

I remember having a rather weird English Language teacher back in my alma mater. She's very 'strange'. I mean... which teacher encourages nonsenses? Guess she needed alot of laugh hahs. Oh well, recently, a friend who is being taught by her sent me the 'short joke' he was required to write in her class. He claimed its a true story. (but i must say i know this dude too well to declare right here, right now, that he exaggerated abit of it. BOO!!!).

Here goes...

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the boy opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The boy seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the boy burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the boy arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the boy (about 16 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The boy replied, “Well your Honour, it was like this:
When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, ‘The Double Mint Twins are Coming’, and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ‘Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling’, and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, ‘William’s Big Stick Did the Trick’, and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honour, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,
‘Goodyear Rubber could have pevented this Accident’ … I just lost it.”

Case dismissed.

*************

Hmm... children who are brought up as smart asses usually developes a smarter mouth even before their brains has made any progress. Isn't that why other kids are afraid of them? hahas... i have the weirdest kind of friends and people living around me. Cheerios!

reading between the lines;

2007-04-10T03:55:00.000+08:00

i've been crashing over and over again. how could it be that i did the same mistake more than twice?!!! and like hell-O(!!!) do u think i'd even give a freaking damned shit when u 'cloned' me? boo hoo too fucking bad. fact IS, i don't even KNOW who in hell u are. i advice u to leave now if u still have any dignity left.

********************

nothing much to update about. but here's a short story that i read and decided to share with u peeps... ENJOY..:

An article to re-emphasise that Communication is Very Important everywhere…

In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India.
She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster.
She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC.
In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for “Water Closet”.

She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring of the facilities about the WC.
The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC.
Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a “Wesley Church” near the house... a bathroom never entered their minds.

So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband? It was a wonderful event.

People spend a lot of time singing in the WC. There are plenty of song sheets for everyone. After finishing, please do remember to fold them properly and put them back for others to reuse.

There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the ex-pressions on their faces. We can take photos in different angles. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly!

You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time. I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere.

The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed.

I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.

With deepest regards,
The Schoolmaster

The Woman fainted reading the reply….. and she never visited India!!!!

****************

sometimes, it is great to receive this kind of story early in the morning when u are half awake. i was laughing my butt off and was fully awake after reading it. Cheerios!

i had to fall to lose it all

2007-04-01T02:00:00.000+08:00

it struck me how weak i'm feeling right this very moment. and for the millionth time perhaps, i woke up with a jolt halfway through the night engulfed by this sickening feeling. and damn! i'm exhausted. very exhausted. i need a good long rest. peaceful sleep with no nightmares or any form of dreams involved. i need to get my energy back pretty badly and i have a dreadful feeling that THAT ain't about to happen soon enough.

i got a real horrible stare by myself in my near recent nightmare. damnit! i looked so cold blooded. it seems like i'm being chased about by myself in my dreams. WTH!!! now i'm scared of myself. and i can still feel my cold, dead, hateful stare. i felt so shrunken by that stare. it was so full of anger and pain. 'i' was pulling me towards 'myself' with that stare. and perhaps i was lucky that i escaped 'myself' by waking up. but waking up made me aware how depressing my life is getting. and as i lay staring at my ceiling, all i can feel is emptiness. how i hate that painful emotion. it claws at my heart and rips me apart. i felt worst than a rotten piece of shit. then, as usual, the night continued with me curling under my quilt and crying till i'm too exhausted to remain awake and drifted off to tormenting land again. truth to be told, i don't understand my own feelings anymore. now, that's depressing to my ears. i used to understand myself pretty well. hahs.

maybe its normal to be feeling this way. maybe its just my mood-swing. but damn! i don't think its something normal nor do i think its my mood-swing. i know i feel empty for certain reasons. the reasons are so inevitable but, yet, i'm trying my best to drown them and shutting them in the deepest, darkest corner of my soul. all these are leaving me in a damned complete turmoil. these reasons are long overdued to be attended to and maybe that's why they're affecting my mind. i can go nuts if i don't take care of them soon. i need a break from everything to do this. yeah, maybe i shall do some real answering to my own questions. well... guess i'll be out of touch for the next few days. don't worry or even wonder what i might be up to. just be assured that i'll be feeling better when i come back. well... maybe not completely recovered from this shit but... at least abit better. cheers!

PS. did i tell u that i have a strong feeling that 'myself' from my dream might just be that cold-blooded person i used to be? well... she may have scared the living night life from my list but damnit(!!!) that girl i used to be is just so cool to be heartless hahs. yeah... hope i can turn pretty heartless so i can avoid having all these weak emotions. nyeh heh heh... pardon my negative thinking hor.

PSS. its 3.45am and i'm still refusing to doze off. what can i do? 'i' am about to kill myself. boo hoo!!! i'm only trying to save my skin. =)

PSSS. and i feel a whole lot better after writing this. in fact, i sense a smile lingering at my lips. yeah... i'm abit lighter all of a sudden. double cheers peeps!!! =D

"and this is my beautiful life
only in sudden everything changes
lows and the highs and almost goodbyes
as odd as it get's like, its still is amazing to be alive
it's a be.you.tiful life."

what is a rose without any torns?

2007-03-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

it amazes me how i can actually complete my revisions without having to crack my brain and reminisce those tiny important details taught during lecture. maybe its because i'm more relaxed with less than 3mths of diploma life left. yes, just 15 weeks left before i can finally walk proudly out of Baruch College with a diploma cert in hand. and now i'm wishing time can move along faster. hahas, but its kinda sad to know i'm reaching the point in my life where everything has to get serious. what-the-heck! i've still not enjoyed my carefree days(!!!)

reputation and happiness, each at either end of the weighing scale. and both being of the same weight; unable to weighten the more important factor in my life. it is either i chase after those 'papers' and get myself deprived of happiness OR i relax and fall back into pace with normal teens my age and burn those early 'paper' dreams. get my point?

well, to me, i rather give up on building a good reputation. i have so many different reputation that people will ask, "which ilma are u talking abt?" kinda confusing, if u ask me. oke, enuf abt my forever-never-ending dilemma. lets move on...

so, a week back(?), i read a friend's blog and she imposed this question that really set me thinking for nights...

"if there is a discovery of the elixir, will u want to live forever?"

without pausing for a second to think, a 'yes' popped into my head. well, i can't deny that, yes, i'm afraid of death. who isn't, right? but after spending some real good time pondering on each factor involved for making a decision, i realise, NO, i don't want to live forever. who wants to live in this condition-getting-worst world without their loVed ones? and i want to be spared the pain of living through the dismiss of my loVes. plus, its so tiring to keep updating yourself on the new advances.

all i want is to finish what i started; i want all my unfinished business to end and getting to live life to the fullest before dying. i want everything around me to be prosper and proper before i leave. afterall, i want to rest in peace not pieces. and haven't u heard these phrases(?)...

"It’s the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."

"to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure"

now, what is your answer to that question imposed? have fun searching yourself peeps =)

it unscrews the other way

2007-03-22T01:05:00.000+08:00

i'm wide awake, but i'm not awake. complicating? well, go figure.

its still a wednesday(!!!) but its already a thursday. confusing? yes, go figure.

four cups of caffeine and, yet, i'm only partially awake. two assignments and twenty hundred pages to read along still untouched. and i must emphasize that i'm not slacking... well... not really. damnit, i can feel the pressure. oke, lets continue with what i began this post with.

ilma. 15+ years old. acting like a 15months old. looking like a 51. yeah, whatever.

life is so complicating if u think the complex way. my life is easy. yes, very easy indeed, if, and only if, i know how to manage my time properly. but don't u know?; i suck at time management lah. and and, i've been dreaming of getting double HDs for this final term. driven enough to actually have planned my revision timings. but come on lah ppl, don't go, "ya ya ilma. u only ya ya papaya..."

wei, i've promised me, myself, and i to start getting serious about my studies from now on. no more 'depend on luck' attitudes. it seems like i have an exceptionally big share of goodlucks though, hahas. but i believe that it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, don't u?

much of this and that

2007-03-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

And so i have not been a good blogger for the past month and a half due to more clicks on the 'draft' button in lieu of the 'publish' icon next to it. Maybe it is time for me to cut down on my lazy habit of procrastinating. I'm getting more and more drifted away from this blog that i used to loVe so much. Boo hoo!

And you might have realised that i've taken down the password protection. Don't ask me why; i, myself, don't know the answer to this sudden change. Niwaes, that's not the point of me writing this entry so don't bother.

~~"~~"~~"~~"~~"~~"~~"~~"~~"~~"~~"~~

You. Yes, you. I've TRIUMPH over you. What a wacky idea that was. Who would have thought that someone would actually want to challenge my sleepiness hah? But that particular someone just wanted to have a taste of being the one who manages to stay awake the longest. bah! Just imagine us on the phone since around 3am till about 8:32am when that person FINALLY decided to give up. Hahas, the new score is 2:0 where i have the 2points and zero goes to you. Too bad you got the wrong number on the first night. Boo! Just a snip of conver we had the night before the challenge, below:

Suaku: what’s your number?
Ilma: 6* – ** – ** – *8
Suaku: You made it simple
Suaku: haha
Ilma: Well, that is in case u are too slpy to read long numbers
Suaku: grrr
Suaku: the battle have not began and you are challenging me…
Suaku: nvm nvm, actions speaks louder than words
Suaku: hohoho
Ilma: hehehe
Ilma: okies
Ilma: how is ur dear ansel?
Suaku: he’s wacky as ever
Suaku: making me go wacckier than ever…
Suaku: and you can imagine what will happen right?
Suaku: =D
Ilma: err… erm… guess it’ll be all over the news headlines. “TWO WACKO FRIENDS ENDED UP IN WOODBRIDGE FOR A FRIENDLIER TIME AHEAD”
Suaku: HAHAHAHAHA
Suaku: now you are getting wacky
Ilma: corrections; I’ve always been wacky
Suaku: oops
Suaku: didn’t realise that
Suaku: perhaps your wackiness is in the minimum scale of mine
Suaku: lol
Ilma: ha ha ha
Ilma: at least I KNOW I’m not a crazy, locco, nut crack, mental, cuckoo, and whatever- u- wish- to- continue- the- list- with insane wacky person.
Suaku: waaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
Ilma: WOW
Suaku: LOL
Ilma: BOO
Suaku: OOB
Ilma: OBO
Suaku: CRAP
Suaku: you knew I cannot reverse that
Suaku: grr
Ilma: haha
Ilma: try me again dude
Suaku: lol
Ilma: LOL
Ilma: if I can’t change the position of the letters, I change the font’s format
Ilma: haha
Suaku: grrr…
Ilma: patience is virtue
Ilma: chill…
Suaku: yeah

Another part…

Ilma: okies
Ilma: if by 0145 u don’t call, u are the shit man
Suaku: if 0145 I call and u DON’T pick up
Suaku: you’re the shit woman
Ilma: but the deal is 0140
Ilma: I was giving u a grace period of 5mins
Suaku: typo error
Suaku: 0140 I meant
Ilma: and u must let the phone ring for at least 30 secs
Suaku: why???
Suaku: can’t u pick up at once
Ilma: nope
Ilma: coz from my chair to the fon, its so gonna take at least 10secs

Sesungguhnya, ilma penuh dengan alasan sahaja. I talk shit so just deal with it.

Ps. It may not be so soon till i update again. Take Care peeps!

the new and the belated

2007-02-20T00:55:00.000+08:00

Have i ever thought that i'm not making full use of the resources available at hand? Well, i guess it is a no becoz...

#1. I hate asking for help
#2. I hate asking for help
#3. I hate asking for help
and
#4. I hate asking for help

Isn't that reason enough? Hahas, this is too stupid to be continued with anything. Its still a public holiday oh-kay! Maybe that's the main reason to why i'm so freaking random and abit high. hoho! Received a cute e-mail from Mei( my personal consultant) just recently and I would like to share them with you. They're a really fun thing you can do during this CNY period with tons and tons of mandarin oranges available. hahas...

Guess its easy to work with me hah. The only thing is... I CAN'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO MAKE THAT CUTE FIGURE!!! I'm trying harder now =D

when all else fails

2007-02-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

Everything will have its own downfall. It is only a matter of how much you've gained through the experience on your way up and back down that really makes the significant difference. And i agree with the sentence below...

"Words and clever turns of phrases are the primary weapons. Intelligence and wit prevail."

But that does not mean that our debators weren't up to the challenge. They were merely overtaken by the unexpected. Well, what's the biggy that Loyang lost to Hwa Chong Institution by a wide gap? At least they were brave enough to take part in this debate competition knowing very well that those other schools involve are of those 'elite' statuses.

Damn those hypocritical arseniles. Screw your puny peanut wits before you laugh out loud, you miserable little awful toads.

Cut the craps, here are some wonderful memories we had at the Arena. Those fun, jokes, laughter, tears and hopes we shared throughout this path that might had been my last chance to unite once again with my fellow ex-schoolmates. Cheerios!

Yup, that pic is tiny. But but BUT, it is really to my advantage coz there's a damn big pimpie on my face. Grr...

Ps. Its so freaking touching to see Miss Vicky hugging Miss Sharifah after our last show there.
PPs. Val, you're still a brilliant friend =)
PPPs. Regina and Meiqi being cute. hahas. really funny with u peeps around.

Ps. Yoges and Uma, sorry if i get abit mixed up with whom being who; you sisters look so alike lah. =D
Pss. The three nut cracks smiling like retards. Hey! i'm not freakish oh-kay!
Psss... And yaya papaya, i know u have nice fingers but guess what? I prefer mine better. Muah ha ha...

"Books and Cleverness, there are more important stuff than that; Friendships"

that little ray of sunshine

2007-02-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

Was having economic analysis lecture today and it was not at all a bad day for us. The result released for our past term was so amazingly wonderfully graded that it managed to perk me up throughout the whole 3hrs of economics cum grandpapa-story-telling lesson. hahas.

And i would sincerely loVe to thank June for her leniency and assistance in helping me with that darn tough module. God bless her. Three Cheers For You Miss June Neo. Kudos!

Well, not much of happenings lately and i think i'm starting to get the feeling of urgency to mug yet again. Damnit. Its not that i'm trying to implement that i'm slacking or anything but i believe i do have a right to live my life to the fullest like any 'normal' teens my age. Read; i typed "'normal' teens my age."

Sometimes, i feel so pressurized that i swear upon your life that i can actually blow off with the impact of a compressed bomb. Yes, indeed, i'm quite a stresso wacko. But spare me, please. I'm being insaned by my responsibilty to serve as a complete child and student.

And and, i'm craving for ice-cream. Especially the tin-root brownies flavour. God! this isn't a good sign; i'm not about to let myself bloom like a toad. Hahas, this post is getting more and more random. Anyhoots, stay tuned for more 'damnit's. =D

Whatever it is, i won't be there

2007-01-30T23:43:00.000+08:00

With my greatest sorrow, i must say i've failed u...

Fallen dreams and a disoriented heart;
they burn that time i was hurt.

I want you to listen.

What was?

2007-01-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

Exactly a week ago today i attended the debate between Xin Min and Loyang Secondary. Well, it wasn't as suspending as that of Raffles Institution against us, but but but... it was good. Correction, it They were good. And and, cuppycake and me couldn't help but lean forward to see the scores on the score board and i almost toppled down the row. Stupid sia... they should put the score thingy high up and make the numbers BIGGER. Read... BIGGER. sheesh. Oh well, we won by ten points(we won RI by a mere two points) and Loyang has now entered the semi-final.

With Hwa Chong Institution, Raffles Institution(back after wild-card), United World College(Southeast Asia) and us left in this dedate competition, i guess this is tough. Anyhoots, the best to my debating dearies. And yes Nanaz, i will be there... of course, i'm your lucky charm maah; how can i disappear. hahas...

Left mediacorp and fell asleep in the bus. Waking up early and having to rush because i thought damnit i was going to be late... what a waste. We had to wait close to an hour in school instead. Dang!
and to think i didn't have breakfast or anything... pilatut!!! grr...

Reached Pasir Ris by around 2.30pm. By then, i was so freaking hungry. Crashed central with cuppycake and Valerie to pack our lunch before heading home. Soon, fana split up from us and Val gave me an honest talk. God! Valerie, that was so sweet of u!!! LoVe u, hun!!! And i loVe your appreciation. Especially this:

"i miss having u in our sch because, with u ard, surely suddenly one laughter will come out from somewhere in the classroom during lesson." -oh well, Suaku never fails to make me laugh like mad. Maybe because he is officially insane; mentally unsound. By the way, do i really laugh that loud? Ooo, maybe i'm too dramatic. But please! i'm no drama mama! LOLS

revealed enough, the others will remain as my himitsu.

The precise reason why girlfriends are more important...
Two is a company but three is a crowd; that's a total crap. Gonna kick your ass if u say that sentence is true.

Ps. The hand with the watch belongs to Nanaz NOT me.
PPs. Damnit Chelin, i'm going to chase you with a chopper u gullible arse.

I ain't a 'thing' that u can judge

2007-01-15T02:29:00.000+08:00

Such long silence from me huh?
Oh well, i was having much thrillng fun today reading my tarot cards. Yeah, i know i'm not suppose to believe in these stuffs but... i was dead bored and, to top it all up, they are so accurate!!! Hoho!!!

Anyhoots, wanna know which cards i picked?
The first card i picked was 'The Moon' and the last card that i picked was the 'Death' card. Yup, i stopped picking after getting 'Death'; its kinda scary to read more of their meanings lah. In total, i selected nine cards and their meanings link to each other. Now that freaks me.

Anyway, i think i know what the whole message is abt. I'm not about to reveal that now though. Not ready yet. Till then, i'm off once again.

Tiddles =)

The bright bright stars

2007-01-07T22:24:00.000+08:00

7th of January 2007. Hoho...

Raffles Institution lost to Loyang in the Arena debate competition!!!!

Like God I loVe you!!! Oh well, loyang debators managed to intimidate the oppositions. Yeah baby that rocks!!! Ok ok, i'll make this a fast one; i'm dead beat.

Had a restless 5 hours of sleep before cuppycake gave me a morning call. Sesungguhnya dia tak mahu aku tertinggal, haha. Anyhoots, we reached the mediacorp studio by 3pm and had crazy fun supporting our debators. Plus, i think Kartik is cute.

I mean... he's so small!!! So short!!! So cute seyyy; like baby.

And i agree with Val that Yan Fen shouldn't use him as a punching bag; damnit he was so scared la!!! haha. Well, i don't mind if she use the-fat-one instead. The thinking wrestler i mean. That one was so aggressive. So menyampah. Macam nak kena sepak2 gitu. Dah lah cakap besar, nak action banyak terror lak. Sumbat dalam jamban baru tau...

Tra la la... suckees! When there are suckers, there must be suckees; a fact taught by my lecturer =) Sweeeeeet!

Chiaox! Pardon my language.

in the end

2006-12-31T23:47:00.000+08:00

And i've realised how happy i used to be reading back my past posts. Maybe i didn't know that making others happy will rob me of my happiness. This feeling is so sickening...

Once you're ahead, you can never go back

2006-12-31T22:13:00.000+08:00

Okay, this is it. The final day of 2006. I'm not sure whether this is something i should be happy or sad for. Afterall, i've yet to recover from all those incidents. Boo Hoo! A part of me wants to stay behind and another half wants to move on. Haiz... let's recall all those ~~shattered~~ memories...

2006, the year i got too caught up with studies.
2006, the year i lost 3 loVes to Death because i neglected them.
2006, the year i was awaken from my heavenly bliss when i achieved a goddamn ending. Oh well, i guess there must be a day when i have to fall.
2006, the year i realise good deeds can sometimes have bad consequences.
2006, the year i totally lost control.
2006, the year my fears are played like a lullaby; like the reason why.
2006, the year i woke up with guilt and regret.
2006, the year i feel dead.

How far could i have gone without mourning these? Hoho! Let me tell u this:
I AM AFRAID OF MOVING FORWARD
Comprehend that; i'm tired of explaining.
Now, allow me to welcome 2007 with high spirit.

Here's my 2007 resolutions:

Stop worrying and get more rest.
Stop neglecting my loVes. What's life without them, right?
Stop being hypercritical.
Fix my body clock.
Be more optimistic =)
Stop being a spoilt brat.
Continue being rude to those who doesn't mind their manners.
Reduce quarrels with mom.
Be more patient.
Sharpen my attitude.

I guess there's alot to be done huh? Anyhoots, i'm accepting all these.
Now i'll leave u and 2006 with a cheery...

SAYONARA!!!

Chain Reaction

2006-12-30T23:28:00.000+08:00

I've been slapped... long long ago but only now decided to do it.
Oh well, thanx JoAnna for this =p
Enjoy Readers!!!

***7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME***

i loVe to threaten my friends. Just to see how they react =)
i loVe people without knowing the reason why.
i hate HaTe HATE lizards and cockroaches. more like terrified actually...
i'm frequently labeled as a 'studious freak'. a lucky thing i don't wear spects...
i'm swingingly single and loVing it.
i have a freaking mood swing.
i'm a sucker for thrills.

***7 THINGS THAT SCARES ME***

the icky wicky slimy creature called 'lizard'
the loVer of the trash can; cockroaches.
my mom. when she blows her top that is...
when i hurt my friends.
failing major exams.
when i disappoint those who have faith in me.
when i'm petrified. because though i know what i shd do... i'm just frozen.

***7 THINGS I LIKE THE MOST***

the fresh morning air.
the loVely part of my childhood memory.
my loVes. won't trade them for anything...
my properties.
my blades.
my hangout place; JCP.
my coffin.

***7 RANDOM MUSIC AT THE MOMENT***

Lithium by Evanescence
Pieces of a dream by Anastacia
Dearest by Ayumi Hamasaki
Six feet under by Marion Raven
Nobody's home by Avril Lavigne
Speak softly loVe by Paul Mauriat
WinterSun by Bond

There, I'm done. Don't bug me for more; i have nothing more to say.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I've lost it

2006-12-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

Everyday is getting more and more visits from boredom. I'm still quarter done with assignment but i'm stuck. For the first time in my life, even with tons of 'will', I'M STUCK. ooo... life is taking its toll on me. Brilliant. And and, no matter how horribly i curse the day... i'm loVing each and every srewed up piece of it =D... Coz i know...

"Yesterday was never here and tomorrow will never be, but today is a gift that's why they call it 'present'."

and i can't possibly have everything my way coz if everything is coming my way, its official, i'm in the wrong lane!!! Boring as life is getting, there's great jabs of humuor here and there. And i've found a new talent in myself *winks* when i'm down~~(and u come with shits)~~, i find i can think up of more retorts than when i'm positive. So peeps, as i get cheerful, u get grumpy. Why? Because i'm always happy when i get to burn someone's butts. Woo hoo!!! I should never waste time denying; just go with it. Resistance drains energy, Acceptance saves it, and cheerfulness sustains it.

Tell me i'm ugly... Thank you very much; i'll just think of myself as a beautiful monkey.

Cut my sentence saying that everyone is imperfect and reminding me that i'm a nobody to u... I'll say that i agree with u that everyone is imperfect but since i'm a nobody to u... I'M PERFECT!!!! Cheerios.

Advice me i'll regret... Oh well, If i do it i’ll regret it, if i don’t do it i’ll regret it, either way i'm going to regret it, i might as well just do it. Thurrr...

The good news is that you may have created my past and screwed up my present but you have no control over my future. *blueck$$$* And thanks for laughing at me because i'm strange(ahem... unique is a better word =D), but you should know i laugh at u because YOU ARE FOOLISH. Muah ha ha!!!

Okies okies, enough about that, i'm off for now. Adios!!!

Ps. Cuppycake, where in the world are you?!!! Come back quick hun, i'm rotting here. Maybe its right... When you lose someone, you realize just how much that person means to you, So maybe its a good thing they're gone. So you can see just how much that person means to you. Wa ka ka, jgn marah yer makcik.

PPs. My dear Dori Fillet, u have the right to remain silent coz anything u say will be misquoted and used against u. That's the danger of me darl...

PPPs. Chelin, get this straight, tragedy is when i cut my finger but comedy is when u fall into an open sewer and die; stop laughing!!!

22nd DECember 2006

2006-12-22T16:50:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SWEET BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!

LoVe ya, muarcksss.

May your daughter(me!!!) excel in life =)
Muah ha ha, mom's birthday but the wish is for me. What can i say? i'm too much hor. Anyway, mom is happy with her Longines wrist watch so no harm done with a little wish for myself.

And and and... i sang to a spoon because i'm drunk =p
Woo Hoo!!!! ilma is crazy.

Now i'm off for lecture. May the lecture turn out fine with me wrecking havoc in it. CHEERS!!!

Shh... didn't i tell u i won't give in?

2006-12-19T16:18:00.000+08:00

How freakingly annoying my sister can actually get. I've not only found out that she tried to read my blog(or should i say she had read all posts untill i placed a password to enter?) but she read most of my friends' as well. Fana's, Shahnaz's, Haruda's, Dirah's and some others she pay attention to. Wa ka ka, beware!!! But i guess blogs are supposedly open to all parties. Yeah, i won't bother her reading if she could shut her critics up. But, oh well, she likes to get on my nerves... really.

And so, when we have wars, we won't bother to keep our voices down; let the whole of Street 51 know we're fighting... yet AGAIN. Like today(when i'm stuck at home for the hundredth time), she suddenly brought up the topic of my blog AGAIN. And AGAIN, she asked for my password. MUAH HA HA!!! My blog is only open to those invited people(those i gave my password to) and those who won't go yak-yak-yak telling my mom and dad what i wrote.

Fifafooki!!!!! How i hate having a password up. I'm still considering on shutting this blog and opening a new one. BUT, oh God, i loVe my blog; i can't just shut it!!! Yeah, i might just be someone who is so damn sentimental... keyword is MENTAL. And mental means crazy. Ho ho ho, what a great combination. Back to what i was saying, i'm considering to shut this and open another... BUT, when people start linking, she will always find it AGAIN. AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!! How i hate that word.

Haiz... till i get a new identity.
Yes, that's what i'm thinking; new identity. No more ilma, il, VintageQuoth, devilx_spitfire or identity like that. But perhaps i should just let it go and get on with more important stuffs like assignments and school. Ya ya ya, i give up lah. Boo Hoo!!!

Pull me down when i break free

2006-12-19T00:54:00.000+08:00

The past couple of days, or perhaps weeks, was an inferno of battles. It all started about a week before the 13th or in other words, 7 days before my final exam. And it lasted till today; this very second. And it still am moving on along with me.

Oh well, the exam didn't go smoothly as planned; it was the contrary. With more than 70 questions to complete in 2 freaking hours... raah! tora tora tora, what a kamikaze!!! No one managed to finish the paper and all but one did touched the Section D(essay questions). And even so, he only get to do part(a) of the first essay question before having to hand it in. French Fries, my lecturer, was indeed a 'taikoo' to set the paper in such an irrational nonsensical format. Just imagine, a page worth of complicated calculations only worth 2 marks!!! And a good paragraph of explainations only worth 0.5 to 2 marks each. -.-' I have nothing more to say. And i had only finished highlighting my answers from the 2 pages long investment article for the first essay question when the invigilator pulled the paper from my grasp. First, he pulled my paper then i snatched back then he pulled it back and moved on quickly. GOD!!! At least let me write in point forms in lieu of NOTHING!!! Yeah, i was mad enough that i burst out crying the moment i stepped into the restroom. There and then, i felt i can breathe no more; everything was so depressing. Later at home, i became hysterical... but hey! at least i wasn't still depressed =D

Okies, enough about exam; what's done is done. Let's move on to happenings after my exam. As always, i've planned my 6-day holidays ahead of time but But BUT, the non-stop rain hindered most, almost all, of my perfect plans. And when the rain finally stopped today(monday), mom forbade me to go out and ordered me to start on my assignment. So i'm stuck at home with assignment and studies AGAIN. Boo Hoo!!! Don't envy me; my life is full of pressures. Place your bets on how long more i can last before rocketing off at the speed of a compressed bomb now coz my patience are all eroding. Nowadays, my mornings always start off with quarrels with mom. Why is mom becoming increasingly more and more fickle? And to top it all up, i'm short of patience.

Amongst all these pathetic situations, at least there's a jab of fun. CHEERS!!!

Ps. There's a petition for a proper exam paper format going around. Seems like we might be taking the exam again =)

PPs. I will try my best to make up for those cancelled outings loVes.

loVe will always be loVe

2006-12-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

Ilma, your mood tends to swing between Uneasy & Sad.

Most of the time you feel uneasy. Your outlook on life tends to be negative and you spend considerable energy dwelling on your negative feelings and emotions. Your uneasy nature causes you to get worked up over every negative aspect of your life. When you feel sad, your outlook on life tends to be negative and you are plagued by feelings of dissatisfaction.

When you experience the ups and downs of mood swings, the most important thing to remember is that you're not alone. Everyone—even the calmest individual—is liable to fly off the handle now and again.

Ever shouted at a loved one for no apparent reason? Had a bad day at work, just because? Or found yourself ricocheting between happiness and sadness? Getting your mood swings under control is no easy feat, but once you know what to look for, they can be surprisingly predictable and manageable.

Test result brought to you by tickle.com
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Whatever it is, i know my loVes have my back when i fall.

#1. They're there for me to make sure i stay happy.
#2. They're there for me when i'm down prepared with techniques to cheer me.
#3. They're there for me when i need to vent my anger really badly.
#4. They're there for me when i need guidance.
#5. They're there for me when i need to see the positives of life.
#6. They're there for me to dry my tears.
#7. They're there for me when i need to laugh.
#8. They're my partners in crimes.
#9. They're the ones who made me truly feel.
#10. They're the ones who taught me loVe.

What more can i ask for? loVes, u make my life complete. I can't thank you enough. All i can say is... if u hurt any of my loVes, you hurt me too. And i take how my loVes' feelings as seriously as how they do me too.

Hear me say...

"If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me."

And I'll leave u with these phrases...

"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart."

"Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joys, and dividing our grief."

Spare the rod and spoil the kid

2006-12-08T02:15:00.000+08:00

Ilma, your candy heart says Be Good!

It's not too surprising that "Be Good" is what your candy heart says. You've probably been hearing it all your life. From your third grade teacher, to your last serious relationship, there's just that little bit of mischief about you that keeps people on their toes. Could be the glimmer that your eyes get when you think of doing something you're not exactly supposed to be doing, like sneaking the last cookie from the plate or secretly filling your glass with the final sips of wine?

Were your parents reluctant to leave you at home without a chaperone? But overall, it's that impish sense of good fun that keeps people enamored by your charm.

People can't help but want to be around you. So when loved ones throw their arms around you, they really do mean it — even if their parting words are always, "Be Good".

Test result brought to you by tickle.com
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Mom and dad should have thought of that idea of a chaperone aeons ago. Yup, i loVe sneaking out of house late at night and having a cool breeze at the veranda. Wa ka ka, at least i don't topsy turvy the house.

Ps. Nanaz my dear London cookie, you've just done the best example of this test result on my taggy -.-'

PPs. Attention readers, i'm more than positive that i'm addicted to this kind of self-discovery tests. Please bear with my result based posts. =)

They are just factors of my life; nothing more

2006-12-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

Ilma, your subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your family life

On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your family relations. But it's also possible that family issues have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why.

You may feel slightly bothered by situations or relationships in your family, or you may find that your family just isn't fulfilling you in critical ways you desire. You also might find you spend a lot of time worrying, or thinking about your family members and their situations. You might feel that family issues take up a lot of your energy. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your situation that you avoid the topic all together.

Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it.

However, you can learn easy ways to tap into your subconscious mind and discover the source of the issues that are preoccupying you.

Test result brought to you by tickle.com
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Hohoho, i know the reasons. And i suspect that certain someone knows as well. Oh well, i can't help it. Its not that i'm unhappy with my family or anything but... i feel out of place. Misplaced. Stop staring at me please!!!

Nope, i'm not going to evaluate further. My family business is my personal affair.

Bottomline, all i'm trying to say is that my family smothers me.

Truth to be told...

2006-12-02T14:09:00.000+08:00

I've became a victim of Lady BlackDeath's. Here's the survey i'm obligated to do:

1)Are you a chinese or english freako?
-None; i have a million better things to do rather than be a freak.

2)If time is going to stop, what will you possibly do during that time?
-I'll get some dirty lil' revenge work done... nicely done ;)

3)Prefer to play pool or the playground?
-Playground; i'm still a kid at heart. But hopefully it won't go down under my weight.

4)Do you usually gossip others or the one being gossip?
-It's a fact that everyone talks about one another. But i'm mostly hypercritical.

5)Do you like simple or complicated stuff?
-I like simple stuffs that are complicated according to normal human psychology.

6)Do you tackle numbers or alphabets better?
-Just be warned that i loVe playing around with my words and does my mathematics in a never-ending way.

7)What makes u pissed off?
-When i get picked at for no bloody good reason/s.

8)How's your childhood?
-It's pathetic. That's why now i wish i'm still a kid so i can change it. But too bad; my time has come to pass.

9)Do you have inspiration without perspiration?
-A brilliantly crazy person doesn't need to perspire in order to inspire; they're naturally the inspiration themselves.

10)Do you think 24 hours is too short, too long or just nice?
-Too short!!! Too short!!! Help!!! I need more time to breath!!!

11)Would you judge a person by their appearance?
-First impression counts. But i might reconsider.

12)What is attractive in your eyes?
-Mind artworks that keeps the brain working. They're just awesome!!!

13)Do you like the day or night?Explain why...
-Nightie night. In the dark, most humans are no one. Didn't i tell you midnight is my power hour?

14)Do you treasure stuff that you own, or you have insatiable desires?
-I treasure each and every stuff i own even if they're worth only the trash bin.

15)If your computer just hanged up,with a long document that is not being saved;how would you react?
-I'll axe it to dust and dump the tiny sharp pieces in the jerk-next-door-who-complains-24/7's shoes.

16)Do you believe in miracles?Or was it longed predistined?
-I don't know... it's hard to believe these things do occur.

17)Do you often forget about the past or trying hard to do so?
-I don't forgive, I don't forget.

18)In your mind,why are colours out here?
-Because life will be dull without it.

19)Have you ever pity those who are real pitiful and shed tears for them?
-That's no business of your's to know.

20)Describe yourself in terms of your attitude.
-I'm your mirror dears. LoVe me and i'll loVe u. Hate me and i'll hate u. Respect me and i'll respect u. Simple enough.

21)Do you suddenly lose grasp of hope to survive as yet?
-I'm holding on to my last breath and i will survive!!!

22)Give 3 advantages when you get to live.
-#1. Understand life. #2. Taste life. #3. I get to loVe and be loVed.

23)What is your ambition in life?
-To breathe my last in peace NOT pieces.

24)Do you believe in horoscope?
-I don't. But it's amazing seeing most of the predictions becoming reality.

25)Describe the music in your life.
-Gothic rock.

26)Which country would you like to go to when you can afford it.
-Ancient Egypt. I want to see those priceless ancient runes.

27)What do you think blogging is about?
-Opinions, thoughts, and happenings of your life.

29)If you fail a test,how will you react?
-There goes my reputation. I won't be able to face myself; much less others. But i won't let it hinder my beautiful life coz i know my character is who i really am whilst my reputation is merely what others think of me.

Ridiculous; the best word to describe my world

2006-11-25T23:48:00.000+08:00

bad mood! bad mood! bad mood! bad mood!
Bad mood all day. And for whatever goddamnit reasons, i think i've gone cuckoo. Hello hello people! Here comes little Miss Cuckoo! *claps* yeyyy, i've gone senile.

Thurrrrr. The reason i made that claim is because i don't get the reason why i'm in such a terrible mood. I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHY I'M MAD!!! So now i'm asking myself, "if there's no reason, why should i be angry?" ilma ilma ilma, go drill some sense into your head.

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Ilma, you're smartest when it comes to personal intelligence

Being asked life's big questions like, "Who am I?" and "Why am I here?" would have most people running for the hills but not you. In fact, you might even relish sitting down to chat about it these quandaries in-depth. That's what personal intelligence is all about: the ability and willingness to reflect.

As one who is more introspective than most, you seem to enjoy opportunities to get to know yourself. Whether you're testing your values, learning more about your likes and dislikes, or simply sitting in quiet contemplation, you seem to like spending time on you.

In many ways, having strong personal intelligence signifies how fearless you are. You're not afraid to take that close look into the mirror and see who's looking back. Self-knowledge can only benefit you as you move through life's challenges, be they professional or personal ones.

-Test Result brought to you by tickle.com

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I have NO comments.

Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defence

2006-11-24T13:29:00.000+08:00

Ilma, your emotions are triggered by your underlying belief in Integrity

In other words, your uncompromisingly honest nature directly affects how, and how often, you experience certain feelings.
For example, your test results indicate that you're most fulfilled when you hold fast to your moral ideals. That factor is directly related to your fundamental belief in integrity and the range of emotions it triggers.

-Test Result brought to you by tickle.com

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So now it seems like being too honest is a total crap. Yeah, i must admit that i've been feeling guilty 24/7 since this 'word' came into my life. Why? I don't know... or perhaps i don't want to know. GOD!!! Can't i please please please pleeeease remain... guilty-less? Err... no, that sounds wrong. I guess I still have a looooong way go before finding out what i really want.

Let's lay it all out. Life is short but i still have a long way to go. Does that mean i have to rush? Gosh! sometimes, i feel i do my thinking in the most complex way ever. And to think i claimed to be a simple person... i must have been lying all along. HELL NO!!! I left a gap in my words.

I said simple. Yes i know that. But i didn't indicate it in any direction. I only meant simple as in appearance not thoughts my dears. Bottomline, read my words carefully fullstop.

What goes around comes around-beware

2006-11-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

Went out cycling with Amalya today. We had been planning this since like a month or two ago. Such a long time hah? Yeah... I know, but it seems like there will always be hurdles hindering us from doing so. But well, I'm sunburnt now. Grr... should've known better. But I don't care bout it, I'm soo happy getting to meet Ama again after... well... err... 3 months? Hmm... life is really catching up on us. Haiz... how I wish I'm only 15 months old and not 15 years old.

We were cycling from one end of the beach to the other end. And along the way we bumped into that golden monkey. I didn't notice him at all but Ama did. Want to know why I call him 'golden monkey'? Oh well, he dyed his hair blonde when he very well knows he has dark skin. What a bad taste. Boo!!!

Btw, Ama took a wrong turning point out and we ended up somewhere very interesting. The path is made up of woods on stilts with only trees and more trees on either sides. It's like cycling in a forest. Very very nice... I want to go back there again some day. Don't worry, we managed to find our right way out just fine.

Homeward bound, we stopped by time park. I still remember having PE lessons there in primary school but now it's updated abit... i guess. Oh well, Ama wanted to try out the fitness stuffs so I just tagged along. Then suddenly Ama went:

"Eh Ilma, tu Si 'Nak Benda' kan?"
"Mana? Biar betik kau?"
"Tu dia lah!"
"Si 'Satu Perkara' tu?"
"Siapa lagi kalau bukan dia?"
"Errr... eh, alamak, kau betul arh; tu dia."

Not a big deal here peeps. Just that we bumped into an ex-classmate who was so damn snobbish back then towards us. And dia bersemangat nya pakai Siglap Sec nyer uniform. Ish ish ish... kalau pandai sangat tak akan termasuk Siglap lah makcik; mesti dah gi Raffles cam Si Glenn pantat tu. So we ignored that person and had our goofy fun. But I guess Ama was irritated by getting stared at by that person and her friend coz she burst out:

"Eh il, muka kita orang ni ubah banyak sangat ke sampai Si 'Nak Benda' tu tak habis-habis nak stare stare?"
"Mana lah aku tau."
"Eh, aku cakap ehk kalau dia stare sini lagi satu kali... kita gi hantam dia kay."
"Yelar tu..."

So we stayed silent and watched them from the corner of our eyes. Lil Miss Snob was clearly ranting bout us to her friend coz that friend of her's kept stealing glances our way. Then, Ama smirk and claimed...

"Aku ada nickname baru untuk dia... Mak Bedah! Tengok tu dia cakap nya lah laju; train pun kalah. Membebel jer tau. Bigit seyyy!!!"

Ama Ama Ama, kekek aku cam gila kat situ. And I think they know we noticed their acts coz Wan Ting finally shut up and dragged her friend away from our area. Yes, her name is Wan Ting. And I don't know if I should be nasty towards her. It's sort of a cold war between us. Backstab stab stab each other non-stop. Hmm... and to think we used to smile at each other when we met... don't get me wrong. All I gave her was a toothache smile! But I hate it when she picked friends from grades. So it goes like this...

A students = Woah! Smarties! Must join their gang!
B students = Hmm... not bad but I should pretend to be nice.
C students = WHAT THE HELL!!! You expect me to be your friend?!
Failures = You don't deserve to be in this class! Get lost!!!

What kind of stupid theory is that? Hmph! You expect me to be your friend and ditch all my other 'not-up-to-standard' friends? Kiss my toes first lah! And because I refused you became cold towards me? You are such an unsincere bloody twit. Yeah, you used to be more successful than my friends but too bad so sad; you are such a pathetic loser! My friends have conquered your fugly grades.

Headed home at 6pm and was dead beat. Today would have ended on a high note if not for my sore throat. Sigh... why can't my day often end pleasantly? This is so unfair! But too bad, life is unfair. Get used to it ilma.

whatever will be will be

2006-11-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

I've finally come to realize that most of my friends are reliving our past. Might sound strange to some of you but hey! I loVe those memories of our's. And I was chatting with Cuppy Cake late into the night about ALL of our doings. Confessions time people. Confessions, that's all. So we went back to our earliest memories right way back to primary two.

Hmm... I was such an 'angel' back then. But but but, the seniors influenced us. So err... we had fun chucking wet tissues upward towards the ceiling and admiring how the tissues never seem to drop. Well, even now I'm still wondering how those tissues just stick to the ceiling and never drop back down. It's just amazing and would be even more so to ickle little eight year olds. That's not all, primary two was the first time I lied to my teacher and skipped class. I am such a brilliant innocent LIAR. Sheesh. Cuppy Cake was complaining bout how her two marvelous friends(Syazlin and me) always ended her up in the worst situations. Fana, fana, fana, I didn't mean to drop flat right on top of you. Wa ka ka ka, I did told you to let go and let me drop myself. Lucky I was still very light back then... kalau sekarang kau mesti dah jadi squashed banana. And when Syazlin ran faster than expected dragging you on the ground behind her, that was sooo oh-my-God!!! That was just plain disgusting when she pulled out particles of tiny rocks out of your wound... Yuck! And and and I bet she still remembers us. She might have become spoilt to the core now and I've witnessed the change myself, but, two years ago she still recognizes me. Bestfriends don't forget each other in matter of years.

But sadly, primary two was our only fun year together in primary school coz primary three onwards we were split into different classes. Hmm... and I thought, honestly thought, Cuppy Cake was spoilt as well coz... I always saw you around with you-know-who. I am really really really sorry for not noticing you when you needed me most.

Then in sec one we were back to the same class. But even then we were not close. We were just friends i guess. So now i'm pondering how we became too close that everyone says we 'kalah kan matair'. Wei, we are no lesbos kay!!! Boo hoo!!!

And and and in sec two, after i left LYSS, fana was bombared with a million questions by the school for my whereabouts because clearly that 'fishball' sec one form teacher of mine hadn't pass my letter to the administrator. So I became fed up and led the school into a wild goose chase. haha! And Cuppy Cake was telling me:

"Pasal engkau aku kena heret masuk office ngan Si Goggle tu pergi jumpa OM everyday lepas sekolah. Abeh diorang tanya banyak soalan. Mana kau skolah lah. Knaper kau tinggalkan Loyang lah. Terus aku jawab aper kau suruh aku bilang diorang, 'Cher, she said it's for her to know and for you to find out.' Abes Si Goggle tanya knaper kau cakap gitu then aku cakap lah,'Coz she said she already sent a letter to the school.' After that biler jumpa OM dia pulak tanya,'Who is this Ilma?' and aku jawab, 'She's that prefect.' Then dia exclaim,'Oh! The garang one you mean? The one I said can become headprefect?' 'Err... ya, that one.' Then dia tanya lagik,'Why she leave? She don't want to become headprefect issit?' Tu aku tak tau aper nak jawab."

I couldn't stop laughing on the other end of the line. Like honestly, I can't believe they dub me as 'the garang one'. Hey! I didn't scold students because they did something wrong. I just scold for fun. The word is fun. Very entertaining to see them turn pale when I started to appear angry but... right after scolding I would burst out laughing at their pale and shocked expressions. I can't believe they thought I was really angry!!! And I bet they thought I was a nut case coz scold scold scold then suddenly laugh. Boo Hoo!!! MUAH HA HA!!! I loVe scaring those jerks that way. Anyway, I decided to end my game and give the school the informations they needed. But that was only on the last official day of school for the year. And Cuppy Cake, you make the best messenger ever. Berani kau cakap aper nonsense yang aku suruh heh. Nasib aku ketawa tak kena semput dengar kau ceritakan tu semua. Tak leh angkat seyyy.

So peeps, if you ever get the chance to have your game played by the school, give it a try. Very hilarious. But make sure you are quite a distant from them. You wouldn't want them to know where you are. Hahas, till here peeps!!!

Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.

2006-11-16T01:52:00.000+08:00

And they said...

"You'd better be grateful; the next time you're brought down you'll probably be dead."

And I said...

"No one gives a peanut for that. Why don't you swallow a pea and SHUT IT!!!"

"Live fast, die young; leave behind a good looking corpse." Tell me, whose idea was that? Gonna kick their arses. What a total bloody crap. Only a brainless totally-have-given-up-on-life hell of a pain in the ass would say that. There's more to life than you could ever imagine. I'm loVing my life and will never want to end it for any reasons. That's case number one.

This is case number two...

I notice some people are just too extremely superstitious. Well, this was what happened...

Lately I've been in a really crazy condition. One moment I would be laughing till I cry then the tears will turn genuine(I was indeed crying!!!) then the tears would turn to hatred and I would start kicking and punching the wall that divides mine and my sis's room till I become so exhausted then I would sit frozen cross-legged on the floor for one hour staring at nothing. That was what happened a few nights ago and the next morning I woke up with very swollen eyelids. Applied eyeliner to mask that and decided to chill somewhere. I was more towards a funeral mood so I wore everything black from head to toe =)

But a superstitious goddamnitcheenawhoreabletwit just can't seem to shut her mouth about my dressing. My problem what I want to wear lah!!! And what's wrong with the way I dress? It's only a blouse and a skirt that's black colour. And it's nothing revealing; I'm not a bitch. Seems like she has a problem with seeing me looking so witchy. Yeah, I know my eyes look sharp and it's even sharper when I have eyeliner on. Well, you see, black to superstitious ARSEnile means badluck and red is goodluck. So if they see black, it's like a curse or something. But how dare she swore at me!!! And, oops, did I not warn you to never tread a nerve of mine when I'm zombie like? So yup, I swore back. And it's like we were having a swearing match right in the middle of Orchard Road. I know I swore like no-body's business when there's like sooo many people around. sheesh. I just can't seem to shut up when I'm pissed. More than a hundred and one wonderful vocabs came from me. You want drama, I give you drama. Don't try me.

Cai Lin and Midori practically had to drag me away from that senile old hag. But but but, now I'm guilty of using those words. I think I shall wash my mouth with soup bubbles. It's been so long since I've last swore kay. Poor Cai Lin and Dori was flushed... down the toiletbowl. Haha... Sorry sweeties, I didn't expect any of that to happen. But anyway, I feel like laughing now so I shall end it here...

Got this idea from Nanaz my London Cookie =)

CHEERS!!!

Let me tell you a story; the story of a lassie

2006-11-13T01:42:00.000+08:00

"Oh ignore her Harry!!! She's lost her mind that's all."

Had been chatting with Shahnaz lately. And I've just realise how much more urgently this sweet 'psychiatrist' of mine needs the 'loony bin' than I do. And and and, she has successfully made me more than just insane. I thought psychiatrists are suppose to cure a crazy person not make them worst???

You are asking me why I'm writing this? Easy, it's because I want to credit my insanities unabridgedly to her. Nanaz, the person who always manages to really drive me up the ceiling everytime I annoys her that I have to scream my head off at the other end of the line. sheesh. Don't worry Nanaz, I'll just sharpen my blades abit more next time hor. Plus, each of our conversation will consist of these...

"Ilma, I HATE YOU!!!"
"No Ilma, I don't hate you... I despise you!!!"
"That's it Ilma!!! I'm not talking to you for the next 7 weeks."

Well, that seven weeks seems to last only seven minutes. Ha ha HA. And of all the people I can pick to enter the woods with, I picked her. Trying my luck, that's all. My dear cream puff, please start studying geography more intently; I don't want to get lost. But, if we do get lost... I'll kick you right out of the woods. And I'll make sure you fly off at the speed of a fast bullet okies. Just don't forget to come back with help =D

And and and I was jumping on my bed coz I imagined that was your face... it didn't break. See, I'm such a wonderful friend *winks*. Oh ya... if you don't want that chocolate bar, let me have it. I'll down them faster than you can say, "DON'T." Plus, I don't mind if you want to have a good run. Just tell me when and I'll let loose a bull to chase you. Better run fast if you don't want your butts flattened *thumbs up* Just know that I'll be chilling on a tree recording the whole comedy. Hahs!!!

Oops!!! I think I'm worst than dead for writing these but Nanaz.... I've just made you ten times more popular =)
Bite Me

In the end it doesn't even matter

2006-11-10T03:10:00.000+08:00

My e-mail account has been flooded by tons and tons of mails from you. Yes, I've gone through them and really comprehend what you were trying to convey. But your recent most mail was so... wrong. It's just plain wrong. Why me? Why must it always be me? Why must you push it all to me? Have I done something that offended you?

You made me stay up all night trying to heal myself. You made me fake my own feelings. I had to go around with a fake bright smile just to mask my miserable self. You've made my life a never ending masquerade. I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm so superficial. No matter what, I will always appear cheerful coz I know, if I break down and all is lost, those I've been pushing up will crumble back down with me.

But isn't it surprising that the person whom had always busted me remains the only one who can guess my misery behind my convincingly-cheerful fake laugh? Life is strange.

I held back my tears not wanting to show I'm not as strong as my front appearance. Yes, indeed, I'm weak. Weak, sensitive, towards those tiny stuffs you call pathetic reasons. All my life, I've been taught how to shield myself from the big things. Now, I'm too immune to all those big stuffs; and with no shield to the small things. I'm sorry I've never told you this but...

You've hurt me so deep down inside.

Stress spices up your life

2006-11-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

Today's lecture was quite haywire. Mainly because #1. we have a test and everyone's trying to do a last minute study. #2. the projector won't work because it needs the emergency ward and #3. Ilma was very clumsy that she attracted all the aunties' and uncles' attentions.

Did I mention the aunties' going crazy because Ilma got hypertension? Haiyo!!! Not hypertension lah!!! I was only confused lerrr. NOT hypertension. But it's quite tensioning hor. Anyway, during the test, Doreen was suffering from cold fit and me from 'hot' fit? Doreen was practically shivering and I was sweating. Oh my goodness!!! June even offered to fan me. Sianz sianz...

Indeed it's a 'monday blue' or what my lecturer prefers to call a 'black monday'. At least I didn't end up sleeping. But yeah, I totally forgot the easiest-to-remember equation which is the compounded interest formula. Dang!!! And so I was the last to finish the test even though it's an open book one. Not much of an advantage to me coz I was too lazy to even flip a page. Why make life difficult?!!! I've got the best resource for the test right infront of my eyes; my sweet lecturer =) Yes, I literally raised my hand and asked for, ahem, equations and hints very close to the answer. Ilma played cheat!!! Yeyyyy!!! But who cares?!!! She said she don't care bout our final answer as long as we've got the workings right; she only wanted to make sure we understand what she taught. Haha, so for the IRR that uses such a long long long trial and error method I clearly stated what I understood and leave it unanswered =) And guess what?!!! She agreed that it's really a hectic and troublesome method and took my understanding as good enough. CHEERS!!!

Me and June really have alot in common. Let's see... we both sleep very late into the night... we both are very childish... we both hate trial and error =)... we both cannot remember the equations. Except she's the lecturer who should be able to remember them and, me, the student who should be learning them. Hmm, I'm very lucky to get such an extremely lenient lecturer. I'm a happy soul... period.

Random oh Random

2006-11-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

Mom shook the hell out of me this morning. I slept rather late last night around 4:30am and was dead beat. But early in the morning at about 8am, mom burst into my room wishing me 'goodmorning', poked her index finger at my ribs and left. Ouch!!! That hurts oke... but I slept on. Five minutes later she entered my room again and, this time, switched off the air-con and reminded me to wake up before going out. But I slept on. Five minutes passed and here she comes again nagging at me. Damnit!!! She drew back the curtains and opened the windows. So automatically, I pulled the blanket up to my head and slept on. Again, five minutes flew by and she came back. Only this time she did it worst. Yup, she pulled me right off the bed with the blankets and all. Sheesh. I was entangled with the blankets. Dear mom, I could've suffocated oke!!! Why don't you try using a trucktow to pull me out of bed next time?

Grr... so I gave up and went to shower and have breakfast. And so, there I was sitting peacefully at the dining table minding my own bizz when that irritating dingdong brother of mine appeared out of the blue and smacked the top of my head. Yes, I yelled my head off at him. Yeah, I was about to explode but he could still laugh at my moody face. Dang!!! So I gave his leg a good kick. And the next moment he screeched at mom, complaining about my kick. Yeah whatever!!!! Well, mom wasn't in her bad mood so she totally ignored my dingdong brother. BOO!!!

Next moment sis came bouncing in. Hey, what's up with the 'high' spirit in everyone? I notice sis seems to be smiling 24/7. She even smiled at the ceiling. OMG!!! Everyone's gone cuckoo!!! Oh well, I don't mind that but she keeps tugging at my sleeve and pestering me with her annoying stories. Haiyo!!! I have such a wierd family.

But anyway, I ended up shutting myself in my room and blasting the stereo at volume 20 =)
So yup, you peeps have just taken a glimpse at my morning life. Haha, I'm writing out of random-ness lately.
Keep being cheerful kay. Cheerios!!!