Thursday, May 31, 2007
::
listening to the silent notes
::
& so i told u that life was "more than a bitch to me" a few days back. It turned out that when i expected that to be the worst of it, it turned unexpectedly horrible. And i mean very horribly terrible. Maybe its because i cursed life that it turn out that way. sheesh. Allow me to rant on... i really need this escape.
As written in my earlier post, i haven't been sleeping and resting well. Had tons and tons of work to do for my assignment. U might claim that its only a piece of assignment. Well yeah... its just a dumb assignment that rob me of my life!!! Maybe i should explain more. U see... my freaking-assignment-that-is-my-only-hope-to-scrap-a-pass-now-with is something so everchanging due to the volatile market and stupid interest rates and risk-free rates... as well as my groupmates. I've been re-doing it times and times again just to be updated with what's going on. The most irritating part is that i have TWO of them. One to be done individually and another in a group of three. & so, i haven't been sleeping properly since wednesday(23rd May). All i had was a cat nap in the night. Days were spent burning holes on my chair facing this computer screen doing my assignment. When i completed my individual assignment and submitted it to my lecturer through e-mail last saturday, i felt so relieved coz i've finished what i have to do... and yes, that means the group assignment as well because i've done more than just my part. That was when i posted in my blog (it was 12.30am on a sunday morning but i considered it a saturday coz i haven't slpt yet). Niwaes, little did i expect that i have to do the final report as well becoz my groupmate claims she can't do it as she had to accompany mom in the hospital. THAT WAS BLOODY UNFAIR!!! Well, i'm not trying to say that i didn't understand what she's going through but heck!!! She should have done it earlier BEFORE her mom falls sick!!! I've planned everything so perfectly. I've planned to be done with dumb assignments before sunday becoz its plain that MY EXAM IS ON MONDAY AND I NEED TIME TO STUDY FOR IT DAMNIT!!!
But no. I spent Sunday burning another hole on my ever-so-burnt chair just hoping that it'll be done soon so i can at least have a little sunday to study. BUT NO. I finished the assignment at 8.30am on a FREAKING MONDAY MORNING WHEN I HAVE EXAM IN LESS THAN ELEVEN HOURS TIME. Yet again, u can say that eleven bloody hours is enough to study. HELL NO. When u have to sleep and spend one and a half hours on the trip to school. & i gave up trying to sleep becoz some people just couldn't cooperate and allow me to sleep peacefully. In fact, i didn't even get the slightest of sleep. And i was fucking grouchy because my senses are feeling so fucked up and my head feels like its better if i smash it somewhere.
Whatever it is, get this straight: I GAVE UP ON THE PAPER. Yeah... i just gave up on it when the answers wouldn't come and left the examination room. Spent so much time in the lonely toilet because i felt so wrong. Its so sad when u expect that everything is going to be fine and it turns the other way round. Twas, what a sad ending for the monday paper. But at least i know i can pass the paper. I even hoped that i could clear wednesday's paper easily. BUT NEVER HOPE. because i fell bloody sick with and effing fever and a very painful headache on tuesday. Stupid stupid stupid!!! Stupid fever!!! I haven't even fully recovered when i sat for wednesday's paper. And i didn't get to revise for it. Well... before the paper i thought its going to be easy because my lecturer swore that the formulas are given... BUT NO. NEVER NEVER NEVER TRUST YOUR ARSEHOLE OF A LECTURER BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S YOUR LECTURER BECAUSE HE KNOWS MORE ON THE TOPIC THAN U DO. He did give the formulas. Its written very very big on the paper. Now u might be wondering why i'm complaining when my lecturer did give the formulas. Well, it easy. Many things in this world have twins. Many things in this world can have the same meaning but described differently. Same here. He wrote the formulas in a different manner that i've never come across before. Its so fucking confusing. And my head throbbed like hell because i had to think so hard and yet nothing comes out of it. Twas, i didn't finish the paper and was still writing when the invigilator said 'STOP!' He even had to come right infront of me just to stop me from writing. Dumb ass.
The exams came as a shock to me and so my fever came back again. sheesh.
And now i'm still trembling from it.
But i'm not going to let it get to me.
I'm going to spend today celebrating dad's birthday.
=)
HAPPY 51st BIRTHDAY DAD
"life gets better if u take what comes"
As written in my earlier post, i haven't been sleeping and resting well. Had tons and tons of work to do for my assignment. U might claim that its only a piece of assignment. Well yeah... its just a dumb assignment that rob me of my life!!! Maybe i should explain more. U see... my freaking-assignment-that-is-my-only-hope-to-scrap-a-pass-now-with is something so everchanging due to the volatile market and stupid interest rates and risk-free rates... as well as my groupmates. I've been re-doing it times and times again just to be updated with what's going on. The most irritating part is that i have TWO of them. One to be done individually and another in a group of three. & so, i haven't been sleeping properly since wednesday(23rd May). All i had was a cat nap in the night. Days were spent burning holes on my chair facing this computer screen doing my assignment. When i completed my individual assignment and submitted it to my lecturer through e-mail last saturday, i felt so relieved coz i've finished what i have to do... and yes, that means the group assignment as well because i've done more than just my part. That was when i posted in my blog (it was 12.30am on a sunday morning but i considered it a saturday coz i haven't slpt yet). Niwaes, little did i expect that i have to do the final report as well becoz my groupmate claims she can't do it as she had to accompany mom in the hospital. THAT WAS BLOODY UNFAIR!!! Well, i'm not trying to say that i didn't understand what she's going through but heck!!! She should have done it earlier BEFORE her mom falls sick!!! I've planned everything so perfectly. I've planned to be done with dumb assignments before sunday becoz its plain that MY EXAM IS ON MONDAY AND I NEED TIME TO STUDY FOR IT DAMNIT!!!
But no. I spent Sunday burning another hole on my ever-so-burnt chair just hoping that it'll be done soon so i can at least have a little sunday to study. BUT NO. I finished the assignment at 8.30am on a FREAKING MONDAY MORNING WHEN I HAVE EXAM IN LESS THAN ELEVEN HOURS TIME. Yet again, u can say that eleven bloody hours is enough to study. HELL NO. When u have to sleep and spend one and a half hours on the trip to school. & i gave up trying to sleep becoz some people just couldn't cooperate and allow me to sleep peacefully. In fact, i didn't even get the slightest of sleep. And i was fucking grouchy because my senses are feeling so fucked up and my head feels like its better if i smash it somewhere.
Whatever it is, get this straight: I GAVE UP ON THE PAPER. Yeah... i just gave up on it when the answers wouldn't come and left the examination room. Spent so much time in the lonely toilet because i felt so wrong. Its so sad when u expect that everything is going to be fine and it turns the other way round. Twas, what a sad ending for the monday paper. But at least i know i can pass the paper. I even hoped that i could clear wednesday's paper easily. BUT NEVER HOPE. because i fell bloody sick with and effing fever and a very painful headache on tuesday. Stupid stupid stupid!!! Stupid fever!!! I haven't even fully recovered when i sat for wednesday's paper. And i didn't get to revise for it. Well... before the paper i thought its going to be easy because my lecturer swore that the formulas are given... BUT NO. NEVER NEVER NEVER TRUST YOUR ARSEHOLE OF A LECTURER BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S YOUR LECTURER BECAUSE HE KNOWS MORE ON THE TOPIC THAN U DO. He did give the formulas. Its written very very big on the paper. Now u might be wondering why i'm complaining when my lecturer did give the formulas. Well, it easy. Many things in this world have twins. Many things in this world can have the same meaning but described differently. Same here. He wrote the formulas in a different manner that i've never come across before. Its so fucking confusing. And my head throbbed like hell because i had to think so hard and yet nothing comes out of it. Twas, i didn't finish the paper and was still writing when the invigilator said 'STOP!' He even had to come right infront of me just to stop me from writing. Dumb ass.
The exams came as a shock to me and so my fever came back again. sheesh.
And now i'm still trembling from it.
But i'm not going to let it get to me.
I'm going to spend today celebrating dad's birthday.
=)
HAPPY 51st BIRTHDAY DAD
"life gets better if u take what comes"
More than anything,
Thursday, May 31, 2007.
Thursday, May 31, 2007.
