♥ Asphyxiated Love

:: Why can't I keep you out?! ::

Just read on but please don't missundaztood. I know I'm making some of you worried but it's nothing.
It's just been a really bad week. Yes, there are some things bothering me but it's too personal to tell.
From the start, I've been really private bout myself. I can only say out things that aren't about my life.
Aren't too personal things that could lead you to my weakness.
Not that I don't trust you. I just can't possibly reveal my weakness coz it's too much.
My weakness is my protection shell where I retreat to when I want to tear myself apart.

The story below basically tells how I feel but it's not totally refering to what I'm going through.

Never had I wish to be crying after you left cause you were such a fool to me.
Never had I wish to find another lover cause they can't imitate the real you.
Remembering the way you love me and everything you did to me would just make me hate you so bad.
But then my heart says I miss you.

I'm crying again thinking of you.
Looking at the picture of you.
I'm hurt again, remembering back the days.
Loving the memories, turned out hating.
I'm screaming again just to get back with you, wishing to turn back time

My heart got duller every time I think of you.
My heart lay low thinking I won't love again.
You make me think I was preety when I'm not.
You were the one who hold me by the riverside when I was crying in pain.

But then you left me with the memories to bear.
It kills me to think of it, but I wouldn't want to forget.
Pick me up from where you left me and go on, say I'm the only one.

I love you badly after a year past, when you have moved on.
What I'm left with was just the pain to bear seeing you away from me.
Happiness has now fade a million miles away from me.
And just suffer the pain that's cause me to cry for you.
I thank god for ever putting us together...
But I would thank god even more if he'd never split us up.

My love for you had never been the same to others.
Never had it been so bloomy as it did with you.
Time pass by hours knowing it was all false.
Your love had never been for me.
It was just a fake promise you did to me but only me.

My tears had never been taken seriously when you knew.
And all you did was ignore my presence.
Giving up was what I do best in everything
Never come to think I would give away my love the way I gave you.
Thanks to you everything is now shattered away...
But giving up on you was like picking up the world.

More than anything,
Tuesday, August 15, 2006.